iza

happy bday fren..

2009-01-13T22:32:00.002+08:00

would like to wish a friend of mine a very happy bday..

semoga apa dicita akan tercapai..

if u bother to browse thru my archive, u would noe who's bday will it be today.

13012009

used to splurge my hard earned money for this day..

until it left me penniless thruout of january. =)

but nevertheless, i noe u'll be reading this.. happy bday!

happy 2009!!

2009-01-05T20:23:00.003+08:00

wow!! 2009??

cepat la seyyy...

hmmm... i really really hope, dis yr, will be a smooth sailing one for me... 2008 was bumpy.

and hope there'll be more peace instead of war.

i really want new hp. will save up to get the dream phone. hehe..

1st must save up for something really really important for the month of January.

wait for the surprise!

chantique tak gambar ni?? i think i look more better in tudung eh?? maniis la seyy.. lol.

2008-12-18T22:29:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey.. blog la seyy..

sum1 reminded me of my abandoned blog..

bila tengok balik.. fuh! lama pe tak update..

i go and find back the name and password

jumpa la seyy..

woohooo..

testing..

2008-12-18T22:25:00.000+08:00

testing...

k bye..

Littlest things...

2007-09-02T10:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell meIs this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us the first time that you introduced me to your friends and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do no one in the world who could replace you

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

i love this song.. it reminds me of US... thank you dear..

testing.. testing..

2007-09-02T10:20:00.000+08:00

woohooo... 5 mths i have not update my bloggie.. last time blogger was such a 'piyong' for me.. i could not log in and so ever.. glad that it is now ok.. i have my multiply site which i've done most of my updating..

hmmmmmmmm... nothing much to say... hehe..

this is suppose to be a testing post.. :)

2007-02-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

been in a very perplexed situation...
me & him, confirmed, *i think* a couple.. we've made it through with the approval of both sides.. yes, i met his mum, he met my mum.. i'm so loving this!! dapat restu keluarga.. Alhamdulillah.. all praises to Him.

but on the other side, him.. i know he misses me so much.. i know he still long to see me.. i can read it from his msn nick.. he has stopped calling me.. he has stopped sms-ing me.. but i know.. deep inside, he's dying..

i'm sorry..

but i really do love my sayang.. Abg, hopefully, both of us will be blessed with a blessed relationship.. i love you sayang...

2007-01-31T19:54:00.000+08:00

i report sick again today.. sakit lagi..... sakit rindu agaknye.. dapat mc sampai besok..
went to polyclinic with ayah just now.. he accompanied me. so sweet right? sbb takut anak dia ni jatuh ke, menggatal dgn doctor ke.. haha! tunggu lama la kan..
when da jumpa doctor, kene tanya byk soalan by the doc.. i will not forget the conversation sbb doctor freak me out!! seram beb!

doc: ok easmariza, what's ur problem?

me: oh.. i kept throwing up the past two days, i am very weak.. last night, i had high fever and today morning my whole body is aching..

doc: u also had bad sore throat i see..

me: yes.. and headache.

doc: which part?

me: the right side.. and does there any connection with my neck? cause it is very painful..

doc: ummm... i think u have serious problem..

so he start checking my pulse, he massaged my neck and i feel nauseous.
he sat down back..

doc: easmariza, may i ask you something? have you had ur menses?

me: yes, regularly. (though i know, i have irregular menses)

doc: when's ur last menses?

me: last month. (i didn't even realise that today marks the end of THIS month)

doc: which period?

me: this period.. around this time.. (i still forget)

doc: (smiling) could there be any possibility that u're pregnant? (na'uzubillah)

me: sial la doctor. no la!! cannot be! eh doctor, u dun think i'm pregnant don't you?

doc: u sure? u did not have some "physical activity" with ur boyfriend or something?

me: fuck sia.. no la! (dlm hati) sial la ni doctor..

so he asked me to lie down.. check my tummy.. and CONFIRM with me that i'm NOT PREGNANT!

he gave me two days mc and confirm that i just had a very very bad flu.. so in total, i have 4 days straight mc.. mcm duduk kat hospital pulak...

oh ya, yesterday.. a friend of me called me up.. Fai.. he got to know that i'm sick. da cakap2 semua, dia tanya..

fai: iza, u kenal dgn budak nama iryani tak? she claimed that she know you..

me: siapa seh tu? tak kenal pun..

fai: she told me something about you, but i tak nak percaya bulat2.
me: cerita apa ni.. best ke?

fai: dia kata, u're going out with this budak motor.. and right now u're choosing between nak pilih that guy or with another guy.. in other word, she said mcm u ni playgirl la..

me: woah!! me? i mana nye jambu seh fai yg dia nak kata i gitu..
(she also said that i'm short and fat)

fai: ntah la iza.. dia kata dia ada kenal dgn kawan i nama easma..

haha! nice try IRYANI! whoever you are.. try better next time ya.. maybe you just viewed my profile or my blog right now! and kalau nak tipu pun, jgn la pakai nama aku k.. aku nye org memilih nak kawan dgn sape.. nak kawan dgn nama iryani? oh puhleeze, tak ada class la nama tu.. da pandai kata aku gemuk pendek.. ada hati nak kata aku playgirl.. skrg make up ur mind ah.. playgirl selalu kan yg cantik kan? so u wanna say that aku ni cantik? wow!! thanks.. anyway, aku ni
tak mati dek keji, tak hidup dek puji la eh..

2007-01-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

hello everybody... how's life ya? hehe... i'm on mc for today and tomorrow.. i passed out in school just now. i threw up badly.. i shivered.. semua org takut sbb tak pernah nampak aku mcm gini.. muntah penuh satu jamban kau... haha! thanks to diana, mdm and kak mas for sending me to the clinic... and most thanks for the free bill.. haha! i didn't need to pay anything including my taxi fare... awww.. so sweet!!

wondering why am i sick like this.. to tell u the truth, i didn't sleep the whole night.. pasal apa? pasal dia la.. he make me awake the whole night.. and i'm too stressed out maybe.. stressed? after the shopping spree? hehe... well, last weekend is the best shopping getaway for me..

1st destination, Marina Square.. we stopped at Giordano, bought some crew neck tee.. he paid for himself.. next we went to Crocs.. thought of buying one for myself but i look stupid in it.. so we went to Nike, bought for him Nike Polo Tee... so nice!! next door, is the Creative store.. Creative V 2 gb for only $129? apa lagi? grab ah satu... penat berjalan, makan kat Secret Recipe.. am not going to dine in there again..
next, went in to URS, he paid for my wedge... it is soooo nice!!!

next stop is Bugis Village.. so i bought myself a nice blouse.. not one but two!! cantik giler kau.. at last ada jugak kedai yg jual baju senonoh at a very affordable price and it's at BUGIS!! can u believe it? mesti tak kan? haha! so penat, balik.. bam tido..

sunday nye, went to Parkway Parade with mama.. masih mood shopping ni.. so 1st ingat nak gi Charles & Keith.. tapi pasal rasa mcm tak perlu, kita gi la ke basement... tak sangka ada sesuatu yg menunggu. CHARLES & KEITH"S SALE!!!! wahhhhhh!!! i bought myself another pair of shoe and a tote bag..
yg yellow from c&k.. vogue kan colour? teka harga kasut tu berapa? $14.90 jek... yg sebelah nye from URS.. $36.90.. the bag for $10..

aduh! i love shopping.. satisfy my craving to Auntie Annie's pretzel.. yummy! eat like pig at banquet.. and up we go to Aussino.. bought for my mum bantal.. cute kan aku.. haha!

today sakit mcm nak mampos.. but... maybe going out to meet my bestie!! maybe onliee...

will update again later ya.. bye!!

2007-01-21T12:44:00.000+08:00

the song is dedicated to him.. *sigh*

Ada sesuatu ingin kukatakan
Kuharap engkau dapat mengertikan
Selama ini dirimu kusayang
Walaupun kau tidak percaya
Tak guna aku memaksa dirimu
Untuk percaya segala kataku
Kiranya engkau fahami hatiku
Tentunya kau akan menyedari
Aku merasa sungguh indah bersamamu tiap waktu
Kita bermesra... marah dan sayang
Rajuk dan rindu
Walaupun kita pernah merasa terluka dan terkilan
Namun hatiku masih menyintaimu sayang
Alangkah indah kehidupan ini
Seandai engkau terus bersamaku
Kiranya aku menyinggung hatimu
Maafkan diriku... oh sayang
Aku merasa sungguh indah bersamamu tiap waktu
Kita bermesra... marah dan sayang
Rajuk dan rindu
Walaupun kita pernah merasa terluka dan terkilan
Namun hatiku masih menyintaimu... sayang
Alangkah indah kehidupan ini
Seandai engkau terus bersamaku
Kiranya aku menyinggung hatimu
Maafkan diriku... oh sayang
Andainya aku hilang di matamu
Ingatku dalam doamu......

2007-01-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

Salam ma'al hijrah semua... hope that semua org dlm keadaan yg bahagia... semoga tahun baru ini, kita dukurniakan kekuatan utk menjalani hari2 yg penuh mencabar ini..

aku? i started my tahun baru with tears and lotsa tears.. i dunno if i made a wise decision, but this is the best solution.. i just ended up my relationship again... :(
yes friends... me&him has ended again our relationship.. nothing worked out for both of us..

i don't want to delete off the previous post.. let it be.. it's the last time that we met... i want to make it my best memory.. seeing him happy, him kissing my forehead.. akan tetap bersemadi di hati ini..

no doubt, i do and still love him, but da tak de jodoh.. aku pasrah...

and no, if you think that i'm going back with him, so sorry.. i am not.. my chapter with him da tutup pada tahun ni.. i'm opening up a new chapter in my life...

Hamza, walaupun iza terpaksa membuat keputusan ini.. iza sebenarnya masih sayang kan hamza.. iza da fikir masak2 ttg ini. iza dan hamza tak bole bahagia.. iza dan hamza tak serasi bersama.. iza da tak tahan menjadi pungguk rindukan bulan... iza da tak tahan dimarah selalu.. selama ini iza telan sahaja, selama ini iza diam sahaja.. iza turutkan apa sahaja kemahuan hamza.. jadi, iza harap, hamza dapat la terima kenyataaan yg kita da tak bersama lagi.. seperti yg iza cakap utk kali terakhir kat hamza tadi, jaga lah diri hamza baik2 ye.. mungkin dgn pengunduran diri iza, hamza dapat mengecapi bahagia semula.....

2007-01-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Happy 22nd birthday Baby!!! hehe.. he's 22 yesterday.. and this yr is the 3rd yr i celebrated his bday.... the 1st year, i bought him baju.. mcm budak2 skrg belikan matair hadiah.. bila aku bloghopped, bday jek belikan baju, bday je belikan shirt.. haha! his bday cake, Swensen's ice-cream cake.. like so normal gitu.. celebrated kat masai with my MJ family... the next year, baked for him brownie for his cake, bought for him PSP, ewah.. da maju la kan.. beli hadiah mahal banyak.. celebrated 2 days, satu with MJ the next day with his family... but this yr, we make it like very simple coz he "accidently" scheduled his working day on his BIRTHDAY!! i don't know how far is the truth but ya.. so be it.

aku pulak habis kerja lambat waktu bday dia... haiz. which cause him & myself land in a slight argument but everythin is settled upon me reaching under his void deck..

his prezzie da lama ku belikan only his bday 'cake' lambat sampai coz i ordered from Famous Amos.. so that's why da la lambat habis kerja, nak collect cake lagi.. taxi tetiba tak de.. kene naik bus.. haiz..

so bila da sampai blok dia, called him up and he meet me kat bawah.. dis yr, tak leh naik rumah sbb ada la sbb2 tertentu.. jadi kita act romantic kat bawah kolong blok je la.. aku datang dgn bday cake and he was kinda surprise with it. coz aku ckap, i tak ada bawak apa2 utk you tau dis yr, coz budget lari.. and he said, it's ok.. i pun tak minta pape.. banyak la you!! haha.. that's his cake kat atas tu. sedaap betul cake nye..

then start muka tak malu nye... ini2 aje ke dia tanya.. haha! expect jugak la aku kasi hadiah ye.. and so kelua kan dari beg dgn hadiah nye.. he was kinda shocked actually.. sbb aku cakap budget lari aje kan.. jadi bila ada hadiah, tak sangka la konon nye..

tgh bukak hadiah.. apa tu? haha! kotak kasut pompan? hehe...

muka da senyum sikit bila nampak kotak ni.. hehe.. ada apa2 ke..

bila da bukak hadiah.. terharu makanye aku beli kan dia hadiah yg dia nak.. haha! cute la sayang satu ni... alalala.. manja betul.. pasal i sayang you la apa you nak i belikan tau !
wah!! macho la dia.. haha! org nampak mmg mcm sunglass biasa.. tapi bila tengok betul2 fuh! mahal tuh... bila aku cuba pakai, clear giler dia nye lens... patut la mahal! harga eh? $_ _ _ ++ ada plus2 lagi.. glad he like it.. mesti la suka, idaman makanye... da tak ada jual lagi kat Singapore ni..

up close hadiah nye.. sunglass by Rudy Project.. you can see the reflection? terang giler makanye... i felt satisfied get to buy this for him... dia kata, tiap2 bday, apa i nak, you kasi eh.. i nak psp dapat, i nak rudy project dapat.. tahun depan i nak Super 4 ok.. ha kau! da siap nak hadiah apa tahun depan.. gile nye abang.. itu motor beli sendiri ok..

and so.. now, i'm broke, but i'm happy...

if only we're not pretending in love with each other...

nor we're playing trick on each other...

I miss Us....

2007-01-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

happy new year!!

2007-01-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

ok so 2007 da dtg.. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!! HOPE YOU HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR AHEAD...

so, where have i been missing? missing aje.. malas nak update.. sbb tak ada benda sgt terjadi..

ok, smlm kan, gi jalan2 dgn abg.. ewah, da official ok.. me and him balik bersama.. alah, no big deal la ek... gaduh, patch, gaduh, baik.. haiz.. but still, he's the only one yg betul2 faham dgn aku, so ya, i love him.. haha! nak muntah la pulak..

dia da pasang speaker kat motor.. so kita naik motor da tak sunyi lagi.. hehe.. cuma kuat sgt dia bukak.. and we unleash both our mat & minah dgn our picked song.. haha! tapi mmg org2 yg ada motor ber-speaker ni, mesti on lagu2 gitu la kan... tapi smlm pun sempat gaduh makanye....

ok, january da dtg.. makna nye??? bday dia pun coming... haha! pening lagi kepala aku.. tapi dis time round aku tak pening2 sgt cari hadiah dia.. sbb da tau apa.. mcm last year kene minta tolong abg mad sume teman beli psp.. yg mana skrg ni dia da tak pakai sgt psp tu.. hmph, buang karen jek beli.. hehe. so dis year, sekali lagi aku berkorban beratus2 dolar utk hadiah dia.. tapi tak la semahal psp, sekadar yg termampu aje.. nak tau apa?

ha, itu dia.. the exact model.. dia belum tau lagi yg aku da belikan dia.. nak sgt cermin mata ni. exclusive kat singapore sbb cuma dua tempat aje di-authorized kan utk mengedar cermin mata ni.. haha! rasa puas ah dapat belikan dia.. tak sabar nak kasi dia.. da cantik aje kat rumah ni.. hmmm.. hafta wait beberapa hari lagi..

oh ya, sekola da pun buka.. and budak2 pun da dtg skola... and apa lagi.. penat pun da dtg.. baru habis pakai Osim i-squeeze.. sedap sikit kaki..

ok la, ramalan cuaca kata hujan semalaman di serata singapura, jadi selamat tido dan mimpi yg indah2... haha! BYE!!!!

2006-12-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

suppose to update dis post last sunday, tapi terlepas..

ok, kita flashback la k..

3 years ago, dated 10th December 2003. ada la seorg budak perempuan tgh tunggu O level nye result, dtg 1st time kerja. semua rasa mcm alien gitu.. tak faham apa2 pun pasal kerja.. oh ya, kerja yg dimaksudkan ialah, al-Iman kindergarten.

budak tu kene buat kerja filing, kene belajar pakai fax machine, kene belajar set up class.. kene belajar macam2 ah.

masuk bulan january, dia kene pegang class dibawah arahan Tchr Asnah.. seronok la jugak ajar budak2 ni.. hmmm.. tapi dtg satu period of time kan, budak ni da tak leh tahan lagi.. stress banget org kata. lari masuk toilet, nangis2. 2st time breakdown pasal kerja..

dtg la Tchr Aini utk comfort.. from that moment, that girl berusaha sungguh2 utk pertingkat kan diri dia.. she took her Certificate in Early Childhood, then she upgrade to her Diploma in Early Childhood.. sampai la skrg, dia da dikatakan maju la jugak.. hehe..

that girl is none other than Yours Truly.. hehe..

3 years later, this is what i am now in iMAN Kindergarten (no more al-iman ok) a diploma graduate and a senior teacher for big centre Tampines. Woohoo!! every challenge we must face it head on. so ya, pray for me that i can do the best for iMAN!!

here's some pictures, precious moments with those being promoted. ALHAMDULILLAH!!

2006-12-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

lama la kan tak update.. busy gilerrrrrrr!!!! lama tak update, tapi tukar skin eh.. ni pun last minute rasa nak tukar.. rasanye suka la gini.. simple aje.. ada gambar2, then putih. suci la rasa.. hehe.. skola pun da tutup.. but busy preparing the class for next year. aku da bilang kan, aku amek k2 & playgroup. yessa!

by the way, i'm promoted to be the Senior teacher for TM. Alhamdulillah.. will try my best to do the best for the children.

banyak tau nak update.. sbb in between busy-ness tu, ada jugak la curi2 time gi jalan2. jap eh tunjuk gambar k..

ignore the uncle kat belakang tu k.. hahakz! kawan aku dengki!!!

ini la sahabat yg bersama ku..

then ada la movie date kan.. hmmmm.. ok2 aje la..

lagi apa eh.. oh ya, submitted my practicum folder already.. yessa! da bis balak semua..and ada jugak la teman yg selalu teman aku gi balik bugis tu.. thanks fai! he's truly a best friend.. and thanks also for introducing me tempat utk lepak.. haha!

oh ya! how can i forget THE event! Kidz Fiesta!!! it's done! phew, after bertekak, selisih faham, muncung sana sini, at last habis gak..

stayed overnight kat Swissotel. best kau! dapat bilik tingkat 55. fuhyoooo!! tinggi kan. haha! before that, ehem, kelua la dgn fai.. hehe.. malu la kan.. balik bilik dlm kul 1130 then tido.. kul 3 da set up barang2 exhibition. hmmm... then kidz fiesta nye la.. best! parents byk compliment. Alhamdulillah..

what else eh nak update.. hmm tak ada apa2 la eh.. lain kali update lagi..

nah gambar last.

singapore bila waktu malam..
sana bahagian east..

la... yg lain2 tak dapat update plak.. tak pe la kan.. bye!

ps: dun mind eh lagu Spin ni.. tgh sot dgn lagu ni ah.. mcm terkena kat aku skrg nye period ni.. jadi ada sikit kemaruk... mood jiwang ah beb.

confused

2006-11-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

i am so confused by his actions. apa yg dia nak ni dari aku? tak cukup ke hati aku dia lukakan?? apa lagi yg dia nak aku buat.

dia mintak password msn, aku bagi. dia mintak aku delete frenster, aku delete. dia mintak aku delete Hi5, aku delete. dia mintak aku buang kawan2 aku, ada yg aku buang.. jadi apa lagi yg tak cukup? bila aku da buat itu semua utk dia, he can still give me the silent treatment. apa seh? sampai bila seh aku nak tolerate diri dia. bila dia suka, dia cari. bila dia rasa dia ada problem, da hamput aku mcm2, tinggal kan aku.

bila da ok, baik2 balik dgn aku. dia ingat aku patung? then now, bila aku berbual dgn kawan aku, ckap mcm2 la. aku perempuan murah la apa la.. jgn salah kan aku kalau aku buat gini. u asked for it!! and jgn sesekali kau ckap yg aku yg hancurkan hati kau! hati aku yg da remuk ni mcm mana? senang2 kau ingat bole baik?

kau ingat aku bole lupa mcm mana kau tinggal kan aku utk perempuan tu? mcm mana perempuan tu menyusahkan kau pun kau sanggup nak sayang dia.. kau letak aku tepi bulat2 tanpa cakap apa2. kau biarkan aku kerinduan sendiri. kau biarkan hidup aku sengsara. ada kau tau itu semua???

then now, bila dia da tak nak lagi kat kau, kau datang balik merangkak kat aku. aku sedia terima kau. tapi ingat la.... hati ni susah nak baik.. the images of you and her is still fresh in my mind. mcm mana aku lihat korang mesra. mcm mana aku lihat korang berpelukan.. it so hurting!!!!! pls..

my love for you will never be the same.. susah nak build up the trust, susah nak build up the love of 2 years balik kukuh semula..

i really pity the guys whom i rejected. so sorry. i am not the ideal girl that you guys looking for. hati aku da keras.. hati aku da mcm batu.. i dun noe if ever i can love someone ever again....

holla..

2006-11-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

heya everybody.. hehe.. lama tak update kan? asyik letak gambar aje.. today decide to update betul2 la coz rasanya mcm byk kerja da selesai.. hehe..

okay 1st, still remember what phone model am i using? try Nokia 6280? but guess what ppl, aku da tukar lagi.. org kata aku tukar hp mcm tukar baju la kan.. tahun ni aje da berkali2 tukar..

hehe.. tukar sony ericsson plak ah.. bila tengok2 balik kan, rasa nye aku ni mcm downgrade pulak.. but this phone is much more better than yg lama tu..senang nak main mp3. gambar senang nak manage. mcm2 ah.

ok enough of the phone.

now, done with my practicum.. Alhamdulillah, my practicum supervisor, Mdm Zahara gave me a very very touching remarks about me. how she says she is very proud of me. how she looks highly on me. how she.... i dunno. when i did my evaluation,siap aku nangis. sbb terharu sgt. ye la, gembeng la kan.. then fikir, at last, i'm a diploma graduate. after so long... and now, Alhamdulillah. itu aje la mampu aku ckap..

and this week is the meet-parents-session. but Iman do it differently. we made this like as though it's a mini fair. kecoh giler dgr budak2 jual barang.. my class jual air bandung.. but our bandung special tau. Bandung jagung & Bandung lychee. hehe.. style kan? manyak untung loh gua jual ini air.. hehe. profit aku buat, lebih2 dari cost kita. bangga la kan budak2 nye. seronok!

haiz, da nak habis skola kan. this thursday gi Sentosa with the chn.. BEST!!! and next yr, aku take K2 and playgroup! best seh.. rindu aku nak jaga playgroup.. da nak plan ah nak letak apa kat class. haha!

okay la, malas la pulak nak type panjang2. mlm ni bole tido nyenyak!!! SLC aku da bis!!

raya bersama iMAN Tampines

2006-11-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Mj berjalan raya - 28th october 2006

2006-10-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

Suasana hari raya..

2006-10-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

last..

2006-10-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

heya.. a lil bit upset over something.. but it's ok.. will fade away sumtime..
i'll try not to go to anybody's blog right now to avoid being upset all over again.. and ppl are still welcome to visit my blog ok..
berundur bukan bererti kita kalah..
betul tak?
tak tau la policy sesetengah org.. kalau hidup hanya ingin mengejek.. tetiba blogging kene beralas.. setahu aku, law blogging, kita tak leh nak memperkotak-katikkan ttg agama seseorg. kita tak leh blog ttg sesuatu yg bole/akan menjatuhkan maruah seseorg tu.. and kita tak leh nak perkata ttg government.
yg lain, up to individual kan? aku tak tau la kalau ada org yg lebih pandai and baca suratkhabar tiap2 hari and kata pasal personal feeling pun tak leh. then jangan ada kan blog la kan.. sbb kalau nak ikut kan betul2, cerita2 yg tak ada kene mengena dan bermanfaat tak patut disiarkan kerana akan membuat seseorg tu lalai.. tak pasal2 tambah dosa sendiri.. kalau nak ikutkan jugak, nak publish ttg kita sayang seseorg tu pun tak bole.. nak kata kita sdg bercinta pun tak bole.. eh, pendek kata jgn blog la.. haha! susah sgt..
haiz.. kekadang manusia leka dgn apa yg dibuatnya.. mengutuk senyap2, lambat laun, kebenaran akan timbul jua.. nak kata aku mengutuk? mungkin mereka tak tau perkara sebenar.. aku nak kutuk pun, depan2.. make known to everybody.. and suprisingly, ada support. ramai pulak di belakang aku.. A BIG THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT. ini la.. org yg dianiaya, akan diberikan petunjuk.. hehe.. kesian kan dgn org2 yg tak tau sosial. huhu..
ok la, smlm aku da minta maaf.. hari ni aku minta maaf lagi kalau terkasar bahasa.. ini la selembut2 yg aku bole cakap.. harap, utk yg aku selalu jumpa, kalau kau rasa aku salah and malas nak berbual dgn aku.. aku terima.. but if kau rasa, nak terima and kau tau aku da lakukan apa yg sepatutnya.. i am more willing to treat u even better. kekadang, kita bila nak reflect diri, bukan dgn kawan sendiri, but dgn org yg tak suka kita.. coz dari situ kita tau kelemahan.. sbb org yg tak suka kita akan mengata sesuatu yg buruk mengenai diri kita.. and baru la skrg aku tau, aku ni menyongeh aje.. and apa eh org selalu kata pasal diri dia? ooops, tak leh tulis sini.. nanti kene tutup pulak blog ni..
aku tau kekadang kawan aku pun malas dgn aku, geram sama aku, kutuk aku krn perbuatan aku.. tak ke kau rasa kawan2 kau pun da bosan dgn cerita2 kau? *amacam pedas tak?* nak tau.. cari la sendiri jawaban nye.. ini utk semua la kan.. tak ada kaitan dgn yg hidup atau pun yg tlah meninggal dunia..

ehem..

2006-10-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.. apa khabar semua? baik? good..
ok, aku rasa mesti ada org yg spy kat aku kan? bagus. amalkan kerja tu k.. dapat pahala kan gitu.
kalau ada org rasa aku memperbesarkan cerita yg da lepas, it's up to u. but on my part, i apologize.. tapi tetap diperbesarkan. org kata jgn main dgn api kan..

ntah ye.. nak tukar url lagi tak.. sbb tak best la bila cerita yg tak betul, akan diperburukkan lagi.. and i dun mind, if u guys kalau jumpa aku kat luar, nak tegur ke tidak.. coz now, kalau korang tegur, aku da tau ke-PLASTIK-an tu kan.. aku org nye pragmatic.. nak baik, ok.. nak musuh pun ok. i lose nothing. sbb aku tak akan rasa akan ingin tahu ttg diri korang2 jugak.

and, yes, welcome to my BLOG!! and aku tak marah kalau korang nak ckap pasal aku kat blog korang.. coz i know, this is not the 1st time ya.. see, even aku tau ini bukan pertama kali, aku tak ada pun kata yg aku ni "spying" on ya. and percaya la, tak ada rasa dendam pun kat org2 yg nak berbual BURUK pasal aku. so chill..

and to the peeps out there, menjelang raya ni..aku menyusun 10 jari memohon ampun dan maaf sekiranya semasa blogging ni, ada terkasar bahasa dan menyinggung perasaan sesetengah pihak. segala kesalahan dan kekhilafan, harap dimaafkan..

lagu raya

2006-10-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

lagu raya sudah mari.... ENJOY!!

me & jessica alba?

2006-10-07T16:28:00.000+08:00

do i look like her? feewiit!!

please save me!!

2006-10-06T23:25:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.. hello bloggie.. how's everyone's doing? good? alhamdulillah.. me? haiz, ntah la nak kata apa..
i dunno what's come into me now, banyak perang dgn org ah.. but this time round, i fight professionally. haiz, u think i like it is it??
ppl have been finding fault with me.. i dunno why.. maybe i'm too good for them. haha!
ok, 1st gaduh kat tempat kerja sendiri, ya, selisih faham.. kene buat kerja org.. and so on and so forth. boring kan gitu.. furthermore, i'm the coordinator seh for that level.. so kalau org cannot communicate with me, susah beb.
then about my KF, i dunno but i find it too political. it has always been us being the black sheep. and now, when i try to stood up and perbetulkan yg salah, kata aku melawan pulak.. TAK FAIR!!
paling aku tak leh angkat apa tau. our main communication source is thru email and any loop msgs must be send to all the committees. but aku tak pernah dpt email ni.. and aku hanya akan dpt bila da akhir2 nye sahaja. so last wednesday, ada la meeting. and on that day, baru la aku tau banyak benda nak kene present kan utk hari tu.. aku pun tak leh terima la sbb aku tak tau menahu kan. so i speak up yg aku tak dpt terima email.. org besar tu bole ckap apa tau, y dun you check with your mdm? eh hello, aku nak kene check dgn mdm? kau buat kelakar kape? mdm aku banyak kerja, tak mcm kau! and aku nak kene check dgn mdm? AM I NOT PART OF THE COMMITTEE???
aku ni mcm teacher2 biasa aje la ye? yg kene dgr aje? kalau gitu baik kelua kan aku dr committee ni kan? da malu ckap aje la da malu.. nak perbetul kan yg salah pulak..
Thank you for your comments and I am very surprised that you wanted the merger to stay as you specifically commented that after seeing the dance you realised that it was 'buruk'.
but mdm, i was giving a COMMENT. but it was a collective comment from the others too. for me, it was just a suggestion that time. but after consulting the teachers and mdm zabedah again, they convinced me with the percussion instruments that the chn are using, it should be good. that is for TAMPINES though.
To my understanding these dance steps was choreograph by you and some of the trs at Hq months ago. Children have been practicing the dance steps for many months and I was initially disappointed by your suggestion not to have the merger but I respected your decision. Its fine if you want to fine tune it cos its for the betterment of the dance but to quote that its 'buruk' I think its too harsh.
mdm, if i was not in proper, as a chairperson for dis yr KF, you should correct me there and then.. bulan puasa kan mdm... hati mau baik & ikhlas.. (katakan yg benar, walaupun pahit) mdm, sorry to say, but the dance was NOT choreograph by ME, i am just following instructions, fyi by the way. it was done by hmmmmmm...
But now you wanted to have it merge again. Fyi, Tr Noni has already made adjustments today according to your suggestion and she has trained the children with the new steps.
ehem, what is my suggestion again? do i ask the teachers to make adjustments? good that WG teachers take it constructively and change the steps like TODAY, (and if they were to change the steps, perhaps they were also agreeing with me.) but as far as i remember, there's feedback about tchrs have not even start doing their done steps when the heads do vetting for the performances. i'm sure in half an hour of practicing (i presume) the children tak akan memahiri sesuatu dance step. correct me if i'm wrong. coz we never know, the chn might have dancing talent in them.
In future, pls discuss whatever issue you have with the trs before you make your own assumption cos whatever decision made there is always a chain reactions. Please consider the input of others.
i realise the mistake and i apologized to you and the rest. but as fast as possible, i rectified the matter and alerted you and the others coz i believe everything made must be transparent.. am i right?
Thank you.
Thank You.
the one in blue.. aku nye reply.. jahat kan aku?
aku tau, ada org yg baca aku nye blog ni mungkin akan bilang dgn org tu, so be it. aku tak kuasa nak layan org yg buat kerja JIJIK & KOTOR! kalau ctr kau bagus sgt, buat la..
merepek aje kan org2 gini.. i really can't stand ppl who talk loud and yet do nothing. aku mmg suka spot org nye mistake. lagi2 BIG mistake. ketawa kan ah apa lagi.. aku tau aku jahat, but these ppl deserve it. PUAS hati aku.
ok so, today aku MC. haha! 2 hari plak tu.. best! tak yah gi course besok.. tadi gi e-ventions utk bayar tix buka puasa bersama MAWI! haha. aku nak jumpa MAWI! da tua pun minat eh. then gi geylang.. beli bunga. cantik.. nak raya la kan.. then balik, membuta sampai ptg.. syiok seh tido. kesian kawan2 kat kerja.. sorry la ye. bangun gi beli makan utk buka plak.
haiz, and i receive sms from sumone asking for my hand.. i'm sorry that i dun accept you. it's hard for me to open up to ppl. susah sgt2. you got qualities. i can see that. and i'm sure that you can find a better girl than me. Amin..
da 2 hati aku "hancurkan". sorry la.. i feel bad you know. ni sume gara2 si dek tu. dua2 ni sayang pulak dgn aku.. haiz.. dunia2..
yg dikejar tak dpt, yg digendong keciciran..
but tak pe, life must go on.. my KF is coming up. mesti focus lebih. . and many commitment lagi.. kalau da confirm lagi satu nye post, aku bilang apa k.. ada org jeles.. hehe.. besok buka puasa dgn MJ!!! yippee!!

Teacher Easma & Ustzh Nisa with Damascus children..

2006-09-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

2006-09-24T11:32:00.000+08:00

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
is it true with this quote? i dunno eh.. it seems that is what happening to me.. i let him go and let him go with the one he love.. he comes back to me now, so does it mean that he will always be mine?
ppl say that he might just make me his stand in missus. when he found the right one, he may go away AGAIN. it really confusing being in my shoe. how to make him stay forever with me... i admit, i still love him. i love him dearly.. i love him wholeheartedly.. but does he? i bet he doesn't.
aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!
i hate it man when this love thingy start to corrupt my mind. i have tons of work to do.. i have many things to settled.. so please, if you do love me, please say so.. if you don't, tell me too so i don't hang on to you.. Please, pretty please..

ok on a lighter note, Ramadan Mubarak to all Muslims. May this Ramadan be filled with Iman & Taqwa. May Allah bestow Nur & Barakah in your life and may Allah always keep you on the straight path.. Amin ya Rabbal Alamin..

heart

2006-09-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

hi all.. hmm, what have i been doing eh lately? NOTHING! haha.. that's what i do the whole week.. met up with him only.. which him? him la.. haha!

oh ya, just remembered, HAPPY BELATED ABG MAD!! we duduk2 with him, kak ayu, abg ammar, abg mail and kak aliyah, abg ayub and abg HAMZA..on thursday.. where's the rest of MJ? hilang tanpa berita.. haha..

and that night, i got his msg.. which his? itu la.. i have been avoiding him.. i dunno y i avoid him, he's been nice to me.. but i'm just blind. i just cannot accept him.. it's sad.. seeing someone going away from you and ready to mengalah.. i let him go.. dia sungguh baik.. cuma dia tak akan berubah.. i miss him, i know he misses me even more.. but my heart just didn't open up.

haiz, but i know, he will move on without me.. cuma, aku harap dia akan berubah.. aku doa jgn la dia kembali ke dunia lama dia.. aku tak ada lagi utk nasihat kan dia.. aku tak ada lagi.. dia mesti pincang kan? am i bad????

ada org sayang, aku tolak.. ada org tak sayang, aku tunggu...

ok, enuff of that.. i enjoy this carefree life. kelua dgn siapa ku suka.. berbual dgn siapa ku suka.. TAPI!!! aku masih nak DIA!!!

haha! giler la aku ni..

suppose to go out seh hari ni.. but cancel sbb ada org tu sakit.. bluek. tapi tak pe, aku jadi anak baik.. masak utk family daging masak kicap dgn sayur peria. best kan? then kita ramai2 makan sesama.. then aku kemas2 rumah, then siap kan minuman ptg pulak dgn jemput2. hehe.. siapa nak masuk minang, aku da pass da..kahwin? lama la lagi..

ok la, nak puasa eh next week? tak sabar!!!

Genting trip last weekend..

2006-09-13T06:47:00.000+08:00

sayang..

2006-09-12T14:32:00.000+08:00

kenapa la aku bodoh sangat dlm bab cinta ni? kenapa aku sanggup menjadi hamba kepada cinta? kenapa aku dijadikan insan yg hanya mahu menyintai hanya kepada dia? kenapa itu semua?

bila aku tau, sememangnya dia tidak menyintai ku lagi,
bila aku tau, dia memilih si dia..
bila aku tau, hanya maut yg bole memisahkan mereka..

kenapa aku masih sayang kepada org yg terlalu amat melukakan hati ku???

sakit hati ku bila dia menyatakan yg dia masih bersamanya.. tapi kenapa kata2 rindu yg kau ucapkan kepada aku? kenapa kau masih menyatakan kau mahu memiliki aku, tapi hanya masa yg akan menentukan? kenapa???

siapa yg bole berikan aku jawapan? kenapa aku tidak bole membukakan hati ku kepada lelaki2 lain yg mendambakan cinta dan ketulusan ku? kenapa aku masih menanti kan dia?

i lost you once and i don't wanna lose you again..

itu la kata2 nya kepada diriku selalu.. kenapa? sungguhpun sebagai kawan... tapi, tidak kah dia tahu, yg selagi dia ada disini, aku hanya mahu mendambakan hati nya yg pernah ku miliki satu ketika dahulu...

aku mahu kita bersama.. tapi dia seringkali mencari silap ku.. kata nya, mampukah aku menjaga nya? dan ditambah, aku pernah melukai hati nya sekali, dan dia sudah serik.. bagai mana cara aku melukai nya? dia sendiri kurang pasti..

tidakkah dia ketahui, kalau dia kata, sekali aku melukai hati nya, berkali2 hati ku dipanah luka.. berkali2 hati ku direjam2.. berkali2 hati ku digilis2..

senang utk nya menyatakan utk meneruskan kehidupan.. senang la utk nya.. dia mempunyai seseorg yg dia sayang.. tapi aku?

pada siapa aku ingin menyatakan rindu?
pada siapa aku ingin menyatakan sayang?
pada siapa aku ingin menyatakan hanya kau la segalanya?

dikala ku berduka, pada siapa ku harus mengadu?
dikala ku kesepian, pada siapa harus ku merawan lara?
dikala ku memerlukan dibelai manja, pada siapa harus ku pinta?

Sendiri....
Kukemas air mata di pipi
Tak percaya 'ku yang t'lah terjadi
Cintamu kini telah terbagi
Haruskah cinta aku akhiri
Hanya sampai di sini

Tak mungkin....
Aku berpaling dan menyudahi
Tercabik hati ingin meronta
Jangan kau rejam gairah yang ada
Haruskah aku mengemis cinta
Untuk menghilangkan duka

Asmara...
Kemana lagi akan kucari
Siapa yang 'kan mengusir sepi
Disaat 'ku sendiri

Asmara...
Mungkinkah kau sampaikan padanya
Walau hatiku penuh derita
Aku masih s'lalu cinta....

a normal day..

2006-09-07T12:13:00.000+08:00

yesterday were spent on bringing down the pictures we as a couple... now, none of his picture in my room.. bila turun kan satu2, berat hati ini.. pilu sekali.. baca surat yg dia beri sblm berpisah, aduh.. sedih sekali.. but, i think it is the time that i move on..
now the pictures were replaced dgn gambar2 make over.. hehe.. i like!
well today, beli make up!! wow!! suka sekali.. hehe.. pusing nye pusing nak cari discount utk Loreal True Match.. at last kat Metro tgh sale!!!! suka!!!!
then beli sim card baru.. so sesiapa nak number baru, hmmmmm.. ntah eh mcm mana nak kasi.. add aku kat msn then ku kasi k? tau tak add msn apa?
rascalatwork@hotmail.com
okay, so tadi pun da kemas beg and i'm ready to go to Genting!!! Yahooo!!!
itu aje la utk hari ni.. hehe.. malas sebenarnya.

"aku ada kerna kau pun ada.."
tapi fikir2 balik, siapa yg ada?

happy teachers' day..

2006-09-02T05:30:00.000+08:00

1st of all, lemme wish all the teachers out there, A HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY to you.. keep up the good work in moulding the heart of the young ones and those who's keen in gaining knowledge.. cewah!

and ya, as usual, my company had a celebration for all of us. and it was held at Carlton Hotel. ok jugak la.. our theme for this yr is, GLITZ AND GLAM. so pakaian pun nak kene la kan..

enjoyable la kan.. ada part happy2, ada part nangis2. it's a mixed of emotional night. tapi yg penting, everybody enjoy smlm nye celebration. this is my third yr celebrate with iMAN kindergarten. and thanks to the management who've made a good job. THANK YOU!!

and so, apa aku menang eh? okay, aku and partner dapat best Student Led Conference nye apa ntah.. hehe.. we didn't even know that we actually did a good job. haha! then ada la dapat lucky draw.. and what's the best part kan, one of my bosses cakap, when he wanted to announce my name, "someone whom i see have made a drastic in her physical change" hehe.. apa maksud tu... tungguuu...

and we got the 3rd placing for the best ctr. tak pe la, but in our heart, we know that we are the best! cuma org je yg tak NAK nampak..

for our performance last nite, we won the 1st place!!! Yahoo!!!!! last yr 2nd, this yr naik balik la 1st. Congrats ladies!! all our effort paid off. we dance to a medley of Rasuk-Pudar-Otra Noche. best giler wa ckap sama lu! bukan nak puji ctr sendiri. but can see seh. haha! sorry la kpd staff2 lain ctr yg terKEPO baca blog aku ni.. :) dpt trophy.. kita aje dpt.. haha! like duh!

ok, and this is it, my fav event.. Miss Iman.. okay, it's like a beauty pageant sorta competition. beauty with brains ya. and ehem, i represented Tampines. i had to compete with 4 other beauties from other ctrs. pressure seh.. we had to catwalk, and there's also Q&A segment.. haha! feeling2 gitu.

and jeng jeng jeng.. the winner for Miss IMAN 2006 goes to MISS EASMARIZA BTE MOHAMED YUNOS!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!! haha! terkejut daku.. wanna see the pictures? i'll upload it in a jiffy.

after the event, there's also ladies hour. we had fun dancing on the dance floor. mcm kat club. haha!

and oh ya? u listen to Ria just now? Hafeez glamour called me to interview me!! i'm on National Radio.. hehe.. he asked about the challenges in teaching and said "dengar2 menang dlm ehem2.. anda ni paling cantik ye".. how in the world does he know that?

so here the pictures..

me with my children of Damascus 1.. ni muka belum make up lagi..
with my dearest mama, she came to pick up all the gifts.. nampak kat belakang tu? aku nye la tu sume.. dia pun terkejut tengok aku..
me with my best fren aini and ros.. sume purple la kan..
me with partner..
me with liesa and nana.. MJ jugak kita ni.. Mami Jarum...
us when doing our thang.. best sekali joget.. Miss iman contestants from left: Nisa from PRCC, Faseha from Katong, Yours Truly from Tampines, Siti Nadiah from Wdgrv, Lydia from Jurong..
left with Nana and me.. waiting to be announce the winner..
all the winners with our big maam, Madam Salamah..
our very own Miss Iman.. siap dgn sash, tiara, trophy and a crystal jewellery set. Thanks to my Mak Andam for the fantastic outfit and the fantabulous make up and everything. thanks!! org kata da mcm Siti kahwin..

eh dah la eh.. penat la pulak.. hehe... anyway, gonna go on a date this sat, sun & monday.. siapa kah yg akan berjaya memikat hati beta ini.. kwang3..

bye semua!!! Happy Teachers day!!

big bro engagement

2006-08-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

helloo everybody.. watcha doing? makin hari makin boring blog ku ini kan? malas la nak update.. malas? tak ada time pun ada..
well, last sun, my big bro Easmael, got engaged with his love, Faizah.. happy aku tengok diorg.. *sedih* i feel happy jugak utk diorg.. and rumah kecoh! ramai org datang.. penat nye jangan ckap la.. but overall best. i like! and kak missy is so pretty. well biasa la mak andam nye siapa recommend.. aku jugak. haha! she even gave me a victoria secret body splash and lotion.. best kan? aku pun dapat hadiah.
da la, kita tengok picture kay?

abg eas dgn gubahan2.. ni sikit aje dulu..
baca tahlil and doa selamat b4 we make our way..
konon bakal dpt terpercik seri org bertunang.. hehe..
me with the bunga rampai.. but ours special tau.. kita pakai bunga orkid dgn sireh.. style kan? tradisional..
berarak from our house to the girl's.. best kan gini? meriah tau. rumah dekat ok la kan ?
my bakal sis in law..

tgh berunding tu..
Easmariza and Faizah.. both Iza..

my bro dpt surprise.. jam mahal.. haha!

then later at night, kita ada celebration birthday.. utk sesiapa yg birthday in August.. abg aku jugak tu.. this yr mesti birthday paling best utk dia kan?

org2 yg sambut birthday..

itu aje la.. about majlis tunang aje..

Iza ingin mengucakan utk abg Eas and kak Faizah selamat bertunang and semoga kekal ke jinjang pelamin.. Amin.. time iza bila pulak eh??

okay bye semua!!!!

perfect

2006-08-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

hello everybody!! hehe.. am feeling so happy.. yesterday i had the oh-so-perfect-date. of all the dates that i've went, yesterday was the best! but no, it's not with the ex. it's with sumone else. sumone that i got to know lately. hehe.. actually, we've went out on a few dates but neh mind, yesterday was so special. haha!

okay, after my class, i visited my MJ sis, Liz at TTSH. she was admitted due to ovary inflammation. seram seh dgr.. bab2 perut ni tak leh ah. but i just pray for her hope she gets well soon. and her mum, gave me a massage. auntie, you best ah!

feeling so fresh for the date.. met "him" at Liang Court. had our lunch at McDonald's. no more lavish dinner. haha! ate and made our way to Great World City. we wanted to watch movie so we bought the 7.25 pm show, The Fast and the Furious, Tokyo Drift. okay, aku lambat tengok cerita tu.. tau..

but the time is still early, it's only 4.30.. so we window shopped there. we stopped at Precious Thots. hehe.. i love that place. lots of cute2 things right? he browsed thru the things and he hold on to something.. he asked me to read.. it's a crystal bear in a velvet box with write up :

A gift of love
My gift to you is my love
Given from deep within my heart
This special love will never end
Even when we're apart..

he asked me, how was it. i said, touching.. hehe.. and he bought for me.. alala... sweet. then we went out. he said he wanted to look for bears. so we went again to the shop. haha! dua kali kerja. he asked me which bear is the cutest.. i said all. haha! then i was playing with this bear, and he asked, nice? yeah.. and he took it to the counter and asked them to wrap it up.. konon style la.. and there, i got two gifts from him..

we went to the basement and went to the florist.. i just love flowers. and it has always been my dream to receive flowers on my date. and yesterday, he presented me with 3 roses which the florist said it means: I love You.. like, woah!! so romantic la this guy.

and so we chilled at coffee bean.. on every date, we must drink coffee. addicted la. haha. talked and joke around. happy la dgn dia ni. he told me about his past. oh ya, he's 26 by the way. so banyak pengalaman ni.. and ya, after that kita masuk movie..

cerita gerek ah. anybody wanna teach me drifting? bole la.. ajar la.. best seh tengok diorg bawak kereta. nak tinggal kat tokyo ah gini.. hehe. and after the movie.. we just had a long walk.. passed zouk.. oh gini, rupa zouk... ramai org beratur eh. hehe. kental seh tak tau. but ramai seh melayu.. ntah apa best nye pun tak tau la..

we took the cab and he send me home.. best!!!

to you, thanks for everything.. i had the best date ever!!

the bear, the velvet box, the little bear which he gave on our 2nd date and the flower.. :) so sweeeeeeetttttt

am i able to take it?

2006-08-09T10:43:00.000+08:00

hello everybody!! how are you guys? lama seh tak jengok blog ni.. apa hal? hehe... org2 mesti nak tau kan apa jadi dgn aku kan??
hehe.. perasan seh. anyway, kalau tak boring, baca la.. kalau boring, assalamualaikum aje la..
my life mcm rollercoaster.. kejap naik, kejap turun.. frankly, after the break up, aku da lain ah.. sendiri ngaku seh. ya, makin nakal.. tapi tak extreme la kan..
kenal dgn org2 mcm tak ingat dunia seh.. then, sendiri yg tak terlayan.. bill hp this month, adumak.. sendiri tanggung la..

pasal kerja.. haiz.. gaji ku makin kurang.. :( sedih seh.. tak leh hidup seh dgn gaji gitu.. but tak pe.. aku cuba survive. teacher's day nak dtg.. and this yr, kita nye dinner&dance kat Carlton Hotel.. hari tu kene pakai Glitz & Glam.. aku da plan nak sewa baju.. hehe.. kata tak ada duit kan? abih nak jadi Miss **** jadi kene lawa2 la.. haha! tak sabar seh..

and memandangkan aku ni kurang gaji, jadi aku pun apply la utk part time job.. da dpt.. :) cuma nak kene gi training aje.. and yes, kalau nak jumpa aku, jumpa la kat Changi Airport Terminal 2. jumpa nye la dgn aku.. haha..

and what else? ok.. aku masih SAYANG DIA!!!!! sayang sgt.. aku nak balik dgn dia can? :-/ rindu seh dgn dia.. though kita da tak ada apa2, but we are best of friends..
met him smlm.. dia nak makan lemon chicken dgn aku.. he still remember my fav dish.. lup him. and ya, the night before, he said that he misses me so much.. i'm so touched. and dia kata how he appreciated me now. banyak dia keluarkan yg selama ni aku tunggu kelua dr mulut dia..
he saw my makeover picture.. and he said that bagai ditampar kat muka seh.. he said that i'm soooooo preetttttyyyyy.. awwww... frankly, mmg aku nak dia ckap gitu.. dia kata, he's so stupid to leave me for an even stupid biatch. haha! not only i gave him full love and care, and now, he just realized that i'm pretty. apa aje..
tapi tak kembang sgt ah. .coz kecantikan tak bawak seseorg tu kemana2.

gitu aje la.. aku tak faham apa lagi ah nak update panjang2. sampai sini aje..
besok nak tgk bunga api korang??

i'm happy!!

2006-07-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

hello everybody!! am back from hibernating.. well, thanks for all those wishes and doas for me to keep strong.. and Alhamdulillah ppl, i think your doas been heard by Him.. i am very well happy with my life now..

no more pressures.
no more kongkong from him.
i can spend my money now..
i can catch up with my girls.
we even planning for a chalet for us.. i can't wait!
i can get to know new and interesting guys.
i'm loving my family more.. both family, home and MJ..
thanks for being by my side.. i heart all of you!!!

well, after a conversation with somebody late last week, i'm being awakened from my dreams and said hell, why should i even bother thinking of him when he still thinks of that biatch.. oops! haha! suka hati aku la kan..
my days after that never feel better. and my days are so shiny!! ALHAMDULILLAH! all praises to Him.

now i dun cry over him.. but i laugh for him. hehe.. he's deeply in love with shadows. haha! and dun think i'm going back to him, even if he begs.. for my heart have totally TAWAR for him. his love is so fake..
i know, i'm stupid then but am not now.. i dun mind all the gifts for him.. semua halal org kata.. a day after break up, i can even give him a gift.. a nike slipper whick cost me freakingly 60 bucks. i'm spending on my ex. haha! stoopidito. but neh mind, i feel satisfied.

and i love my girlfriend, AINI.. i love her sia.. she's my best friend after nadiah.. hehe.. talking about Aini, we went for a makeover together.. best seh.. we went to Bridal Couture. it is a fun experience for us.. we enjoyed each other's company..
we made the appointment at 645 pm. but our photoshoot only finishes at 11 pm.. pe lama kita posing.. hehe.. and never i feel satisfied before.. best sgt la this time. different from my previous makeover.. we're intending to makeover again at Johore.. gila eh dua2 ni..

let's see the pictures. us before makeover..

aini after makeover.. jambu kan? mcm model..

and ya, we took with wedding gown.. best seh! ini la masa nye pakai wedding gown.. kalau kahwin betul2 tak leh..

now gambar aku plak.. jeng jeng jeng.. jgn terkejut.. haha! wedding gown seh.. best kan?? siap pegang bunga semua.. haiz.. bila la ada org yg betul sayang kan aku kan? eh, apa ni.. hidup single lagi best oh..

ada lagi gambar nye.. tunggu..
mcm diva senget tak? haha! ada lagi.. aku tgh promote ni..

among all the pictures.. i like this best! mcm ada makna seh.. there's words that can't be described thru this pic.. am i smiling for his lost? or am i smiling just to hide the sorrows.. haha! apa2 la eh...

haiz.. can't wait to go out again with my darlings..

will update again later when i feel like it.. BYE!!!!

today is the 21st.. and ya, suppose it's our 23rd month-aversary.. but hell, i dun think he even remember.. shoots. to think that next month is our 2 years.. blueks!

La soledad

2006-07-10T08:43:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to move on.. i dunno till when.. but i'm crying every night, every where.. i need to be strong but i know, it's hard.. i need ppl to stand by me..

walau pun aku happy2 berbual, but when i'm alone.. automatic nangis... so aku takut sendiri, aku takut malam, aku takut semua.. am i really ok ppl? should i go to the doc.. aku tau ni signs of depression.

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION AND MANIA
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

HOW TO HELP YOURSELF IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED

Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:
Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition change jobs, get married or divorced discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

How Family and Friends Can Help the Depressed Person

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about the use of alcoholic products while on medication. The second most important thing is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist. Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural activities, but do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.
Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that, with time and help, he or she will feel better.

that's what i'm afraid of.. takut aku ni dikata pemalas if aku tak bole buat kerja.. so family and friends.. pls help me.. i need you all by my side..

it's official

2006-07-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

it's official.. me & him, we're no more a couple. yes, ppl.. he dumped me.. we broken up coz of something complicated. and this is the best solution that we can find..
oh dear.. i love him still.. i miss him dearly.. i even dreamt that we will have children together.. but not anymore..

Ya Allah, tabahkan lah hati ku ini menghadapi segala cabaran yang Engkau tentukan Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya hati ku ini sungguh lembut ya Allah..

aku bole memaafkan dia.. and aku pun dah maafkan dia.. and aku harap, dia akan bahagia selepas ini.. bukan satu dua bulan kita berkasih.. bulan depan genap 2 tahun kita menjalin asmara.. tapi, jodoh kita dah tiada..

susah utk aku nak lupakan dia.. susah utk aku tak menyayangi dia.. but he made his decision.. and i respect that..

gosh, i'm missing him so much now..

will change my url later.. i can't possibly put his name now right?

updates!

2006-07-02T10:40:00.000+08:00

wah! lama seh tak update.. isy3.. okay la, sum up everything satu minggu yg lepas..

Friday, 23rd June 2006.

on friday, 23rd June, we had a mini celebration of our bosses' birthday at our ctr.. it's a very calm event.. celebrate pun ok2 aje.. but sibuk sgt nak amek gambar.. hehe.. biasala.. haiz.. meh la tengok gambar aje..

aku dicelah2 hadiah utk mereka, Mr Omar & Mr Ahmad..best kan? dpt perfume Hugo,,

then ada sesi potong kek. kek nye.. but aku tak dpt jamah pun la.. ntah kenapa..

my bosses, Mr Ahmad & Mr Omar.
with the Tampines Staffs.. blur eh gambar ni?

and i had my surprise too..

ini step aje.. konon amek la kan kalau2 org lupa bday aku. haha!

but... ada lagi...

they got me a gifts.. me with the superiors..

the gifts... two sets of accecories.. nice kan??

Saturday,24th June 2006

let's skip this part..

Sunday, 25th June 2006

Happy birthday to me!!

haha.. merepek.. my birthday is the same every year.. mcm repetition seh. BORING!!! as all ppl know, my quote: BIRTHDAYS SUCK BIG TIME.

but ada la jugak org buat aku happy.. my MJ family..

they bought me ice cream cake from Swensens.. thanks so much!! but sad, aku dpt rasa sikit aje.. coz was RUSHING for something that spoilt my mood. hmph!

me with the cake..

k la.. itu aje.. utk minggu lepas..

minggu ni, da start kerja as normal.. malas nak ckap.. badan penat nak mampz. so tak yah bilang pape..

and today, i go shopping ALONE!! w/o anybody accompanying me.. so sad.. went to Orchard Road somemore.. org jalan couple2.. pakai baju sama2 bikin aku JELES! but nevermind..

i spent lavishly on something.. usually my Body Splash will not cost me more than 10 bucks. but today, i spent on a Body Splash for a freakingly $73. mampos! body splash apa seh? but i'm contented with it. it satisfies me alot!!

this is the Body Splash..$73 for two.. coz i gelojoh.. this thing i search for nearly 5 months. and bila jumpa, kesukaan.. buy two coz takut habis stock. as two months lagi baru benda ni dtg dari US.. so barang Import.. mana tak mahal kan.. it's from Victoria Secret by the way.. hmmm..

okie.. that's all.. haha.. ending boring seh.

enjoy ur weekend everyone!!

thank you abg eas!!

2006-06-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

in yesterday's post, aku ckap yg abg aku hilang cermin mata dia kan? but i found it!! haha!!
and because he is sooooo happy, mana tak nye, $700 beb.. dia surprise kan aku with something...

siap wrap lagi.. sweet kan abg aku ni? bday aku next week, dia da kasi hadiah.. but abg eas!! my bday present mesti ada jugak!!! haha! my family panggil dgn nama Riza.. mesti ada 'R' nye.. hehe..

so bukak la kan.. apa gak nye dlm kan?? and i am so happy. even more happier than he is..

a set of aromatherapy kit.. haha! suka sekali.. sayang abg... he's very thoughtful. coz memang ini la barang yg ku cari2. aku cuma mampu beli essential oil nye aje smlm.. and tak sangka pulak yg dia beli kan the whole thing.. i am so happy!!! mahal seh kalau nak beli satu set..

so mlm nye, aku tido dgn nyenyak sekali.. walaupun ada gangguan emosi sikit..

bilik ku yg gemerlapan.. it's so peaceful and calming.. i appreciate it so much..

lagi2 dgn apa yg jadi skrg.. i really need things that can make me forget the past.. to soothe my mind dari anasir2 yg tak sihat.

dtg pagi aje.. start balik.. WHY HE DO THIS TO ME SEH!!!

okie, on a happier note, aku baru habis masak.. nak rasa, datangla rumah.. haha!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY AYAH!!

my aura..

2006-06-18T10:54:00.000+08:00

what have i been doing this week? well, nothing much except for lazing around.. haha! oh ya, i watched movie with my siblings and mama..

on thursday, abg eas ajak kita tengok wayang.. so we went out like around 10 am in the morning.. kita tengok wayang kat Princess. haha! murah.. tapi ya Allah, tempat duduk nye.. rasa la kalau nak tau.. kita tengok Cars.. a very good animation movie.. tak rugi kalau tengok.. best sgt.. mama was moved by its storyline.. and dia nangis.. haha! so cute right? jadi korang tau la kalau aku suka nangis tu ikut siapa.. hehe..
before that, we had our breakfast kat McDonalds.

kelakar la kan.. dua2 tak nak posing for camera..

bukak mulut besau2 azwany..

then we head to City Hall.. jalan2 kat Marina Square and i bought something.. hehe.. suka ketawa plak aku ni.. malas nak amek gambar tu.. kat dapur.. tak pe, cari barang kat BARANG-BARANG.. but tak jumpa yg dikehendaki..

abg eas and azwany..cute kan adik beradik aku ni.. and ya, you see my bro's sunglass? it's from Oakley.. and you know how much it costs him? $700. and wanna know the best part? he lost that sunglass. DAMN!!
me with mama and adik.. well, azwany memang gitu.. tak suka amek gambar dgn aku..
mama and azwany..

after jalan2 cari pasal.. kita pun makan kat Tong Seng.. hehe.. lama seh tak makan situ.. i had my Shredded chicken mushroom noodle but i cannot finish it. hehe.. da control makan la kan.. jadi secara otomatis dia kenyang..

that's all for Thursday..

so on Friday.. i decide to go work.. and pagi2 da receive call from him.. and we met up for breakfast.. and he surprised me by giving me a 1 gb Mini SD card for my new phone.. thanks! nak hambat hati la tu.. *hugs*

and he send me to work.. kat kerja cuma ada Diana, Aini, Nana, Nur, Liesa & Bia.. mana yg lain? so aku kemas2 class la kan.. waktu aku dtg, kelas berselerak nak mampos.. bole tengok kan aje seh.. apa guna kau dtg kerja.. tangan ni jugak ah kira nak bersihkan? but nevermind.. i can work alone ya..

so this is the outcome for the term 3..

ada beza ke? hehe.. bole la sikit2..
colourful kan class aku? untung budak2..

and hari ni, aku bersihkan bilik aku sendiri pulak.. and tadi lampu ku sudah pun di repair!! yeah!! so aku tak dlm kegelapan lagi.. selama hampir 5 bulan aku dlm kelam.. huhu.. so today mcm hari raya bila aku on lampu.. terang benderang beb..

and ya, i'm into zen pulak sekarang.. all my perkakas dlm bilik, di sesuaikan dgn citarasa hari ni.. i bought plants to be put in the bedroom.. tak tau apa nama.. but bila tengok warna hijau nye.. Ya Allah.. tenang seh fikiran.. so aku letak kan betul2 depan dgn katil jadi bila aku baring2 stress, tengok plant tu, ok la rasanya..

ada nampak? siapa bole bilang nama nye ah? hehe.. malu seh.. gambar bilik pun nak pamer.. anyway, yg sebelah tu, wall of fame la konon nye..

yg ini tempat elektronik.. my DVD player atas tu ada gambar yg diambil di Thailand.. and the deco pokok putih ni pun cantik kan? tahu.. atas tu TV, bawah nye computer.. apa seh aku? *shoot in the head*

and lastly, aku buat pe tau?

ha.. ni la.. letak batu batu kat floor. huhu.. nampak merepek, but if you come in dlm bilik ni, relaxing habis.. tak bedek.. coz these elements yg membuat kan seseorg tu tenang bila dia sdg melihat nye.

and on top of that, i bought essential oil from Body Shop - Sandalwood fragrance. so you all can bayangkan betapa relaxing nye?? tak jugak? nak dtg bilik gua kapa? tak kelua dr tadi aku dr bilik ni..

ok la.. this post is so crap.. haha! coz i dun want my blog to be so dull.. huhu.. ok lor, sampai sini sahaja.. hey, i miss Bangkok la..

Hello Singapore!!

2006-06-14T12:35:00.000+08:00

i'm back from my trip to Bangkok.. and yes, i'm updating it. gosh, when i read back my last entry, it is soooooo different of what i experienced it there.. well, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE IN BANGKOK!!!! I REALLY ENJOY IT SO MUCH!!! tak nak balik pun ada... there's so much to see there and so much to buy! happy giler seh kat sana.. it is the BEST retreat ever! AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! nak gi lagi.. siapa nak sponsor? meh la kita gi.. ayah said we might go there later in December.. hehe.. nak kumpul duit la.

okay, well on 9th June 2006, 12 pm.
we boarded the plane. hehe.. lama seh tak naik. jadi mcm seram2 sejuk gitu la. huhu.. hati da berat.. mata da berair.. ye la.. tak tau apa bakal terjadi kat sana.. apa nak buat.. dia tak tau yg FUN is waiting.. so boarded the plane and i got the seat sebelah tingkap. seronok seh.. okay, kita tengok gambar dulu k..

Us with the boarding pass. yeah! going Bangkok.. hehe..
going in.. see the konon sad face? haha..
on the travellator.. haha! itu pun nak posing..
happy dapat seat sebelah tingkap..

da happy2.. makan pulak kat atas.. haha! itu pun nak bilang eh? mesti la. makan dia sedap..

sedap la tu konon.. ha, yg ini, kengkawan minta trade tempat, nak duduk sebelah tingkap.. aku kasi je la..

when we reached there, aku sakit.. ya, i'm sick! aku tak leh tahan panas dia.. the migraine was so bad! but! mood shopping tetap ada.. checked in hotel.. dapat bilik dgn nana.. wee! and terus kita turun lobby. nak start shopping.

1st stop kita, Pratunam market. just a walking distance from our hotel. oh ya, nama hotel kita First Hotel. hehe.. okay, and kat Pratunam ni, Ya Allah, bole pengsan seh.. baru datang, mcm da nak habis kan duit.. hehe.. this is the place mana org banyak beli barang and bawak balik ke Singapore. baju2 yg mcm kat Tampines Interchange yg $10 tu, banyak kat sini. and they sell for only 100 baht that is about $4. huhu.. tapi aku tak beli.. konon step, save duit. haha! but! i buy for myself 1 topi NY and 1 stussy. hehe.. satu, 150 baht. jadi kira la sendiri.

100 baht - $4.

200 baht - $8

gitu la anggaran hidup nye..

i bought myself prepaid kat sana.. aku skrg ada number thailand.. haha!

da pusing2 sampai pening, balik hotel.. and we were wondering why rakyat bangkok sume pakai baju kuning.. rupa nye, during the period yg kita datang is the day the king celebrated 60 tahun dia ditabalkan menjadi raja.. so, sume org pakai kuning as respect for the king.. they love their king so much!

the night when we were having dinner at the hotel, kita dapat nampak bunga api! banyak giler diorg nye bunga api, ye la.. celebration kan.. untung kita gi time tu.. lepas dinner, siapa yg nak ikut shopping, tunggu lobby. aku dgn nana mesti la nak gi kan.. so kita tunggu la kat lobby.

2nd destination, Pat Pong Night market.

tempat ni mcm Petaling Street kat KL la..cuma yg special nye, sini la tempat kita dapat nampak org miskin.. miskin pakaian.. haha! pole dancers.. sexy2 beb.. hehe.. yg lelaki mesti suka gi sini. but enter at your own risk la.. nak masuk memang senang, nak kelua sikit nye lengit la kan.. siapa yg tak ada credit card, jgn nak mimpi la nak masuk..

so i bought cermin mata kat sana.. stylo.. 200 baht aje. huhu.. best kan? and penat giler la kan.. tengok jam, baru kul 11 but bila ingat balik, itu time bangkok, singapore da pukul 12 pagi.. patut la penat semacam..

balik bilik, terus bam.. nak get ready for the next day..

10th June 2006.

pagi bangun, da mcm org mabuk.. ye la.. sakit kan.. and turun breakfast sume terkejut, ni siapa ni.. nak tau kenapa, jap lagi.. breakdfast ya Allah, aku siapkan lagi best! hehe. merepek sikit la dia nye makan..

so terus naik and get ready nak gi dia nye Safari World.. mcm zoo dia la cume zoo ni kita jalan atas bas.. sbb very open.. best!

kita tengok gambar k?

ini la sbb org terkejut.. topi NY yg baru dibeli.. and cermin mata yg baru dibeli jugak.. bergaya la kan org sakit ni..

aku and nana yg bergaya sakan.. haha!
aku bersama giraffe sbg back ground nye.. banyak seh giraffe kat sana.. best sgt! kat singapore berapa ekor aje.. sana, like nobody business seh.
diorg tgh kasi makan harimau.. seronok kan?
harimau sdg bersantai..

next stop, kita gi Marine world.. tengok show sea lion.. hehe. mcm kat gold coast.

makan jagung yg amat besar.. nak tengok stunt show..

the stunt show.. lots of explosion.. haha! best!

with the casts. hehe.. aku pegang tembak tau! jgn main2.

us at the set of the ranch. style kan gambar?

me with tak tau pulak kerja diorg apa.. yg penting diorg hensem sangat!! bole sama pulak baju kita pakai.. me with siapa ni? boss kesayangan..

after that our next stop, Chaktu Chak weekend market..

me and nana on the lorry. chaktuchak market ni only open on weekend. best giler tempat dia. . banyak sgt tempat yg harus dituju. banyak sgt barang.. apa yg korang nak, sume ada.. kat sini, aku borong barang2 utk azwany aje.. banyak la kita belanja..

kat kedai sini, you can get sume t-shirt for the price of 150 baht. murah kan? and the ppl, ramah tamah semua nya...

balik hotel, wash up coz i was so belengas and zoom we go for our dinner at a restaurant.. saya pun lupa apa nama nya.. makanan power to the ma nye..

menikmati makanan di sana..

then our next stop, Suan Lum Night Bazaar. kat situ pun power! mcm chaktucak.. cuma more teratur aje..hehe..
tak banyak beli barang.. coz da penat.. and that night, my migraine was super duper sakit.. it affects my visual.. tak leh bukak mata.. so most of the time, aku relax aje la kan..

back to hotel and prepare for tomorrow..

3rd day, River Cruise Chao Praya River & Ma Boon Krong.

early in the morning, skipping breakfast, we head to the river. gonna go on a cruise see the floating market. nice experience seh.. see how the thais lives, see the grand palace.. banyak la.. and feeding the fish. ikan dia besar seh.. nanti gambar tengok tau! this is the river which they held the ceremony.. which you can see in the paper today the picture bahtera diraja jalan.. felt so great to know, that we actually at the place!

Chao Praya River.. this is the river boat that we took.. style kan? hehe..

me on the boat and the houses along the river..

bahtera di raja..aku dapat tengok tau! bukan senang nak dapat nampak, org thailand pun ada yg tak pernah..

one of the few ppl who still make a living by selling things while floating.. alah, senang kata ni la floating market dia...

nak kasi makan ikan..

see the fishes.. besar kan?

then after that, kita stop kat satu tempat ni.. apa nama Chao Aun gitu la.. kat sini banyak kenangan seh.. haiz..

one of the temples. tinggi kan? cantik kan aku amek gambar ni? hehe.

4 dara pingitan.. haha! saje je..

with the tuk tuk.. great experience seh... really thrilling.. dia jalan mcm rocket.. seram sekali.. kene pulak dgn traffic yg sesak.. aduh! tak leh angkat! tapi best! rambut jadi mcm wolverine..

that night.. we had our grand dinner.. sume have to put on something floral.. hehe.. the dress that i wore on that night.. ptg nye baru neli kat Indra Square.. murah sgt. cuma 80 baht je..

me, elya, nana & liesa.. hehe.. semangat seh kita..

me with my best friend, aini..

and here comes the good news.. there's no brainstorming for this retreat.. everybody cheered for it. suka seh!

after that, we went to Pat Pong again..

bought something there.. mana2 stop, aku akan belanja.. so irony from the last entry.. kata tak nak belanja.. and wanna see apa aku beli?

barang2 yg ku beli.. penuh satu katil.. aiyo!

4th day.. dah nak balik.. boring seh.. belum balik, aku dah rindu bangkok.. the ppl.. the shopping spree. haiz.. bila nak gi lagi.. i miss that place so much!

aku and nana skip breakfast lagi.. bangun kul 11 am singapore.. mcm tak nak bangun seh.. but force ourselves. nangis aku nak balik.. but we need to go mah..

and we had our last shopping at Ma Boon krong. sedih seh.. alot of pics taken.. kita mcm star kat sana..

nana and me kat bilik kita.. we miss each other's bed.. *sob*

kenal tak? my boss also.. he's super duper nice!

in front of Ma boon krong..

ah? dah nak balik skola ke??

apa kes ni? merepek number 1. cantik kan? pakai sedondon sume.. ni la baju retreat kita..

my lovely boss. i forced him to smile.. haha! he's practicing ppl..

see.. he's photogenic and friendly.. haiz.. u shouldn't say bad things bout him ok.. kalau ku dengar siapa ckp jahat pasal dia, siap korang..

our large family.. Iman Tampines, Iman Woodgrove, Iman Katong, Iman PRCC & Iman Jurong.. not forgetting our HQ members and our bosses themselves.. we are a large family i tell you.. try finding me..

back to airport and we need to bid bangkok goodbye.. i seriously miss bangkok.. wanna go again!!

nana and me.. nak balik dah..
with one of the stewards.. Sarawut. huhu.. ramai org gila2 kan dia..

okay, end my entry about Bangkok.. haiz, it leaves thousands memories.. i love you bangkok.. wait for my return ya..

side track..

13th june..it's been 2 years.. but i still remember today it's ur birthday.. i wish u all the best in ur life.. jgn la buat benda tak senonoh.. if you've found the right girl, pursue it. that's all.. i still hates you though.

bangkok

2006-06-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

did my lesson presentation assignment just now, and was glad that the lecturer love it. indeed, our lecture, Michael gave everybody full mark! Thanks michael for the KFC treat..
will fly to Bangkok tomorrow.... with a very, very, very heavy heart.. not only that, right now, i'm suffering from my migraine and dunno-what-inside my stomach.. since yesterday seh.. takut aje dlm flight besok.. wish me all the best ok, doakan tak de apa2 jadi.. takut immune system tak kuat, and ada apa2 jadi. *nauzubillah*
will not meet him b4 i go.. though i really want to meet him.. kerinduan di hati tak leh angz beb.
i know, it's ridiculous for me to think like this. i'll be away only for 4 days.. but those 4 days is very critical. with no source of communication.. no internet. no mp3. aaargghh!
anyway.. will go there to unwind everything just like kak shay advise me to do.. *hugs* everybody ask me to relax my mind there.. insya Allah.. thanks for the love everybody!!
easmariza will enjoy myself there.. pray that i achieve there.. haha! will update only after... dunno when.. coz after return from Bangkok.. everyday is a movie marathon.. haha!
i want to love... i want to love myself!!!
bye everyone!! haha.. dun expect me to buy anything there, coz i won't really shop over there.. wanna save for the movies here..

smile!

2006-06-05T11:27:00.000+08:00

i am still feeling sooooo lonely.. see my smile? it's none other than an act. i've lost my touch in smiling.. can't wait for the trip to bangkok. i would like to calm myself down and take a break from all this problematic situation.

dun he know that i need him so much??

my love

2006-06-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

pernahkah kau bermimpi seketika

berada di tempat ku membayangkan

pahit manis berlaku tak siapa yang tahu

mungkin nanti kau jua merasakan

berdepan dengan kata menyesatkan

tak kan ku melupakan

tiada pertimbangan

keheningan malam membalutkan

kepayahan jiwa meluahkan

andai kau jujur memahami tiadaku menjauhi

dan kisahku yang masih panjang

menambahkan berat yang memandang

lantasku pendam ku putuskan biarlah rahsia

semakin aku hitung dalam cinta

tiada kuasa mampu menghalangnya

hentikan kata-kata bertulangkan dusta

keheningan malam membalutkan kepayahan jiwa meluahkan

andai kau jujur memahami tiada ku menjauhi

dan kisahku yang masih panjang

menambahkan berat yang memandang

lantas ku pendam ku putuskan

biarlah rahsia

new hp!

2006-05-31T11:08:00.000+08:00

i am obsessed with something new.. haha! no more bags, no more shoes.. but now, handphone!! haha!! yesterday, i changed to a new hp again, just after 3 months. hehe.. buang duit seh..

i am always on the lookout for newest gadget.. mesti nak dpt kan.. kalau tak dpt, cium bau pun jadi la.. si dia kata, aku tukar hp mcm tukar baju.. at least, aku tak la nak sibuk TUKAR2 pasangan..

up to date, this is my..... um, ntah yg ke berapa la..
ok, let me recap about my exes(hp).
first sekali waktu zaman jepun, my hp was Nokia 3210. ingat lagi tak barang kuno tu? haha! ya. kira hebat la dulu tu..
then i changed to Nokia 8310. melonjak naik terus.. hehe.. hebat la dah ada radio konon nye..
then, tukar, Sony Ericsson yg tak bagus. huhu. tak tau apa model.. pakai sekejap aje.
then tukar Samsung ntah apa model lagi.. hp jumpa.. during that time kira best la ada hp camera bole flip 180 degrees. merepek seh.
then tukar hp, Nokia 3200. kira that time dah ada camera phone la.. wah!! canggih seh.
then hp tu masuk dlm laut, rosak.. kene la beli baru.. itu la Nokia 7260 pun datang menjelma..
aku la antara org yg pertama menggunakan hp designer tau. hehe.. tamak! lepas tu dah naik jelak.. minta hamza beli kan hp baru..
dtg la Nokia 3230 3 bulan lepas..
and now, presenting my newest hubby...

yes, Nokia 6280.

haiz, i am contented.. hehe. now, i have a 3G phone that completes with all the functions. although that my choice is actually N70, but the latter dun have infrared.. itu tak best tu.. infrared pun penting tau. so this phone complete semua.. hope i can stay true to this phone for a long time.. tak nak la tukar2 lagi..

tapi, kalau N80 sale, aku nak beli jugak!! kalau trade dgn hp ni, harga N80 baru 200 lebih.. haha! maybe birthday present ke nanti?? banyak la kau.

pictures..

2006-05-30T11:26:00.000+08:00

pictures only..

during nikah..

malam nye..

besok nye

see how close we are..

Allah, abg hammad ni..

ni pulak riduan romi.. nak jadi romeo la tu..

my actual feeling that day..

that's it lor..

selamat pengantin baru

2006-05-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i last time blogged. many things happened in this week. and it hurts me so much.. but i would just blog about the happy things ya.
last weekend, our sister and brother, ALIA DELENA & MD ISMAIL dah sah jadi suami isteri.. congrats..
kak alia looks so pretty. and abg mail looks so macho.. haha! and being macho himself, he lafaz kan akad nikah once aje seh.. POWER!! haha! and during this two days, banyak yg terjadi.. and i forced myself to smile at every shots. i dun want to ruin my sis' wedding..
and now, i am lost for words.. i dunno what to do now.. IT HURTS!!!!
for now, let's look at the pix ya..

us waktu nikah.. see how far WE stand? majlis berinai.. haha! tradisional seh..
waktu sanding.. with my MJ family.. once an MJ, always an MJ. even if something happens, i will still stick with my bros & sis.
with two of the Ruff Ryders who escorted with us.notice the fake smile? it is just an act.

okay, that's it.. the rest, is for me to keep as memories..

sisters & brothers, thank you for your support for me and shows your concern to me. i love you all.. thanks to bro wan for hantar me balik on sat, and thanks to bro ayub for fetching me on sunday.. i also can TUKAR pasangan la.. not only you.

please say that you love me...

2006-05-22T13:05:00.000+08:00

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car
stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I
carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years
ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had
a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the
assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got
home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her
stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, You are
the kind of man who best draws girls. Her words suddenly reminded me of
my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful,
will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant.
I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn' t help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.?
I 've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea
of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how
mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was
a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in
front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was
the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds
without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too
far awayfrom her. I couldn' t imagine how she would react once she got to
know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped
out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried
to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, Divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I
nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the
last dish, I held her hand. I 've got something to tell you, I said. She sat
down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I
didn' t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was
thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't
seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned
her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not
a man! .At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew
she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman
who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger oneday. But
I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my
clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke
up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought
up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me, but I was
supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time
we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would
finish his summer vacation a month later and she didnt want him to see our
marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Do you still
remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question
suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories tome. I nodded and
said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have
a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we
divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from
the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife s divorce
conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her
words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded,feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to
office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn' t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time.
I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her
face.On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted
her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was
holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became more
vague.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout mademe stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult
to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her
out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,
All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it
was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because
I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again,
I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touchher head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
in my arms I could hardly move astep. Our son had gone to school. She
said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life was
lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce.
I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead.
You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I
said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because
we didn t love each other any more.
Now I understand that since I carried her
into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I
am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She
gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked
me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I 'll carry you
out every morning until we are old.

from somebody's blog.. i decide to post it. it is very2 touching. and i actully cried non-stop.. if u ever wondered why suddenly ur relationship gone hay-wired, think of the VALUE.. *still crying*

HAPPY 21st BABY!! LOVE YOU LOADS!!

busy..

2006-05-19T13:05:00.000+08:00

wah!! busy2 days lately.. chn having their assessments. marking their papers. doing their progress reports. decorating the classroom. haiz, i love this period of time. the stress can actually bond us colleagues at work.
1st lemme check what i need to do and done this week.

Chn assessments - CHECKED!
marking their papers - CHECKED!
filling up their progress report books - CHECKED!
awards - CHECKED!
progress reports - CHECKED!
SLC craft- CHECKED!
Task cards - CHECKED!
decorating the classroom - halfway done
idea web - Pending ( oh..oh.. )
AOM - need to check.

this time round, banyak jugak yg aku selesaikan cepat. ALHAMDULILLAH.. sampai kekadang tu mcm tak ada apa nak buat lagi.. haha! seram ni bila meet-parent-session. but best sekali.. last 2 years, kita stay kat kerja sampai kul 10 lebih.. best seh.. masing2 da kene marah dgn mak masing2. aku da kene marah dgn hamza.. hehe.. ingat2 balik, cute sekali.. tak sangka, we mature inside this company. now, everything knows what to do fast. no more last min work..

and today, everybody is being extra sweet to me.. thanks everybody!! and i do mean, everybody.. even strangers.
this week, i feel like i'm somewhat some celebrity. hehe.. perasaan sia! well, eversince that i lost weight lately, (walaupun tak banyak) i've been given special "treatment". ok, pandangan lelaki jgn kata la.. ok, dun puke k. coz, i dun like the fact ppl watching me.. it is so uncomfortable down the neck. somehow, i feel jijik with the looks. (though happy jugak) but i came to realise, ppl do bias at a lot of things.
kenapa barang yg cantik aje di pandang..
yg indah dipandang, yg indah diperhati..
yg tidak terpampang, itu tak dipeduli..
when i am plump, ppl dun bother to give way to me.. will serve me badly. will honk at me when i crossed the road lambat.. and so on.. they dun even will have a second look at me.
but now, ppl actually giving me way, sengaja pulak nak jalan belakang aku.. asal? kalau serve makanan, senyum mcm nak tercabut gigi, sampai tumpah2 kan air, sanggup lap kan pulak.. (ok, mungkin perasan sendiri, that's how they suppose to work mah) kalau kat traffic light tu, dah green light pun tak nak jalan, masih tengok kan.. ku korek bijik mata baru tau. y can't you guys treat all the girls the same? tak kisah la, gemuk ke, kurus ke, cantik ke, buruk ke.. mereka tetap manusia pe.. but Alhamdulillah.. at least i feel good now. cuma, tolong la, jgn la tengok gitu lagi..

well, today, did something terribly nice!!!!! i feel proud of myself..
on the way back with tchr halimah, we boarded the same bus no. 18. kat dlm ada budak nangis.. kesian aku tengok.. still in school uniform lagi.. so i ask la, y you cry dik? dia tak nak jawab, makin kuat nangis nye.. da aku malu, then, dgn perasaan kasih & sayang, aku duduk dekat dgn budak tu, and pegang tangan dia..baru dia nak berbual.. maka nye, budak ni, tertido dlm bas..naik dr bedok.terlajak sampai tampines interchange. then dia naik lagi.. dia takut balik mlm.. da kul 8 dah.. so he keep crying.. kesian aku tengok.. aku tanya la, tinggal mana, bedok reservoir view aje. alah, kampung hamza la kan.. haha! darjah berapa? primary 3. sama dgn adik aku.. kalau la adik aku tu, mmg aku yg nangis dulu.. so i can somewhat rasa apa yg mak dia rasa.. so aku ckap la,tak pe, kakak hantar balik sampai rumah.. baru dia ok. bila kita turun tu, aku hantar la, then nampak ada seorg makcik ni, terkial2 cari org.. that's his mum.. and when mak and anak bertemu, the smiles on their face make me so happy! i actually bring them together again.. seriously, i will be too terrified if my adik tak balik2 jugak.. naluri wanita la eh..
so, i go back, feeling so great of myself.. haha! told hamza about it, and he said that he's proud of me.. awww.. so sweet. kalau aku meninggal ni, senyum seh.

and coz of that, aku tak gi repair hp. oh ya, did i tell u? my hp da condemn! the 3230, da condemn maut nye.. sedih seh.. makanye tu hadiah dr dia, hopefully bole la baik balik. nak gi service besok.. anybody nak ikut?? haha!

wah!! panjang kan aku tulis.. tak pe la kan...
BYE!!!!

i'm in love~

2006-05-15T06:41:00.000+08:00

after days of crying my heart out...
i've found someone who makes me all smiles again..
one who makes me dream of him..
one who makes me drool for him..
shall keep it secret for a while before i disclose this person..

i adore you~~we shall meet again end of this month ya? a movie treat maybe?

SHOUTOUTS to all MUMMY especially my lovely mama.. i love you too..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

jalan2 cari baju...

2006-05-14T13:51:00.000+08:00

had my assignment on Art&Craft just now. when we supposed to do 10 masterpieces, i did only 6. haha! otak cramp everytime art&craft. since kindergarten i hate that subject. maths too. but nevermind..

went to his house just now, to give his mum her present. w/o him knowing. and when i came, he's not home. how cool is that? glad that he's mum liked the gift. hehe. thanks.. although it's just a short visit, but berdebar nye, Ya Allah, Dia aje yg tahu. when i asked where is he auntie? he's mum asked me back, "gaduh ke korang?" oops, i dun have the answer for that.

salam everybody and off i go with this heartpain. suddenly i saw somebody familiar.. kak ayu la! she ajak gi jalan cari baju kat geylang with kak an.. aku yg tak ada plan ni pun, ikut la.. bermula la our hunt.

so turun geylang and 1st stop, Muzika.. junior hammad and ayu nak tengok vcd.. haha! then gi kedai jamu.. ammar nak jamu pulak.. haha. in the shop, i & kak ayu jatuh cinta dgn splash cologne ni.. sweet giler bau.. murah pulak tu, $2.50. haha! menggila kita..

then, gi makan kat banquet. lepas tu, kita gi Nora Apparel. kak ayu terpikat dgn baju kat sana. so she bought one. best seh! sweet giler baju tu. and the cutting hides her bulging tummy. dah tak nampak mcm pregnant.
lepas tu, aku ajak diorg gi Yasmin. haha! smlm aku dah belanja, niari, kak ayu pulak. dia jatuh cinta dgn baju2 kat sana.. haha! and she ada la beli 2 pasang. cantik!!!!!! geram aku.. pak kal dah tak ade duit, if not, sure aku grab one more.

maybe baju yg dia beli kat Yasmin, she will wear it for sis aliyah nye wedding. so, aku and kak ayu will wear the baju from the same boutique. haha! jadi ambassador ok?

then, talk2 with them. cute la.. i mean, the last time i kelua dgn sis2 MJ, malam puasa pertama when we all have dinner together kat Seoul Garden. yg lain, kumpul ramai2. this time, kelua lagi gini.. Sisters, we should go out again someday.. bila agak2? haha!

lepas kak ayu and abg mad, kak aliyah & abg mail pulak.. lepas ni abg wan & kak liz pulak.. lepas tu, kak dee & abg shahrul pulak.. lepas tu, abg am & kak an pulak.. eh, bila time aku??? haha! gatal pulak si kecik ni..

haiz, best ah.. but when da balik, boring menyelubungi diri balik.. cannot take it la..

kau akan pulang

2006-05-13T12:29:00.000+08:00

Terhiris perasaan takku hiraukan
Kusudah melupakan salahmu sayang
Semenjak kau tinggalkan aku keseorangan
Semakin bertambah kegundahan...

Benarkah keriangan terbias hilang
Di kala rindumu menjelma
Adakah kau sama rasakan peritnya
Sedang kita seharusnya bahagia... berdua

Langit yang berbintang sendiri aku pandangi
Jika dulu engkau di sisi menemani
Kehangatan cinta saat itu
Terbiar layu... tanpamu di sisiku... aku sunyi

Sayang kuharap kau akan pulang
Dan meneduhkan rindu hatiku
Moga cinta kita bisa dikekalkan
Dalam erti cinta sebenarnya

Aku damba kejujuranmu
Untuk kulayarkan kasihku
Kerana ku mahu kau menjadi milikku

Aku mohon kesetiaanmu
Untuk ku mengecapi rindu
Biarlah kau terus menyemai kasihmu

geddit darling?? i'm here still waiting for you..

emotional la beb..

2006-05-13T11:45:00.000+08:00

aiyo.. emotional ku dtg balik.. :(
//dun mind my crappiness kays//
feeling lonely seh hari ni.. i do have my family's company.. but i need HIM. i DESERVE HIM.. but apa dia bikin? bosan la gini kan..

watched dvd, cooked, munched, but do i get him? nak dia la.. *sob*

haiz...

when duduk dlm bilik sendirian, kept thinking of the ups & downs of our relationship. all the happy times we shared. all the crappiness. how he made me all teary both sad & happy. remembered the times when we had org ketiga, keempat dlm relationship ni.. haha! mcm abby abadi pulak. like i can still stay by him after all the shit. kuat jugak aku ni.

i still remembered he told me all about his past. haha! who's the 1st girl he had a crush on. who is the 2nd one. who he goes on his 1st date.. he has been honest with me. that's what makes me love him. sometimes i envy the girls from his past. they got to get his full attention. me? kekadang aje tau. but still, our love is strong.

and i kinda get so upset when i know that there's ppl who is wishing to see us break up. like i dun deserve him at all. why eh? as much as i want peace on this world, as much as i want to see ppl happy, i also want ppl to wish me happiness with him. not ruining us.

ye la, i'm no beauty.. he's ok la. *ehem, hensem la jugak kan* ppl terpikat jugak kat dia.. Aida, nak senyum kat dia lagi?? hehe.. jadi konon aku tak berhak la dpt dia.. asal? org tak cantik tak leh bahagia ke? bingit seh fikir balik..

but why must i be bingit eh? haha! dah tentu dia milikku..ewah! *iye ke?* nak minta satu aje la.. siapa2 ada niat nak pisahkan kita, lupakan la.. pls, doakan yg terbaik utk kita ok?

chill eh kawan2.

shopping sakan!

2006-05-13T05:48:00.000+08:00

hello hello.. hehe.. just came back shopping with my mum.. hehe. early in the morning we went to Hjh Maimunah to have our breakfast.. the whole family u know.. such a bonding session. love my family to bits. then i wanted to buy for myself baju for kak Aliyah's wedding. so off we go to TKC.

straight away we went to Yasmin. the baju2 i tell u ah, so damn nice sia. simple yet soooooooooo elegant. pening kepala masuk sana. pilih nye pilih nye pilih.

at last i settled for a blouse, very simple, very pink and was so me! haha! siap tempah you. so kak aliyah, see, i tempah baju specially for ur occasion ok. then paid mama's baju also. deposit aje la kan. hehe.. so ckap yg itu mother's day present dia.. haha! then bought 2 tudung. 1 for me and 1 for his mum. so in total today, i spent : $180. yahoo! duit terbang.. haha! but worth every single cents.

mama then bought for herself a pearl set (necklace & bracelet) and that costs her $180 also. haha! Yasmin boutique kaya dgn duit kita.. hee~

geram..

2006-05-12T10:57:00.000+08:00

just came back from my meeting at HQ. haiyo.. penat seh kaki..
1st, wanna wish Mdm Sharifah Salmah a very happy birthday! semoga Allah memberkati hidup makcik..
Mdm Sh. Salmah is my Mr Syed Hamza's ummi. hehe..

2nd, i dunno what's gotten into me. (pardon if it's a lil bit harsh) i boarded bus service number 2 from Eunos. it's a straight bus to my house but kaki gatal sgt turun interchange. and i regret it like so so much!

reason being, i bumped into HER!
she who wrecked my relationship.
she who ruined my plan for my 1st anniversary.
she who is just plain JEALOUS of me..

i know, it's the past and i should just let it go.. but what's make me angry is that, when she saw me, she turned her back sia.. apa maksud seh!!!!!! like what? kau ingat aku nak tengok muka kau ke apa? pi jalan ah!!!
kira kau jambu, aku takut ah??????? alah.. taik hidung masin aje la kau tu..

and suddenly the anger abrupts back seh.. felt the pain again in my heart. how she nearly make us break up.. what makes matter worse, on my ANNIVERSARY!!! hak puih ah!

and what? u gonna tell him like what? i stare at you? i make face at you? i TURNED MY BACK AT YOU? bole belah la kau!

just one thing la kan, dun make me see ur face again k.. sekali tangan satu aku kasi.

Astaghfirullah.. i am so sorry.. but i simply cannot see her la.. sakit hati.. anyway, chill iza..

breathe in, breathe out..

contented

2006-05-10T08:32:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah.. am feeling much more relieved bout my life now.. and saw the changes in my blog? happy seh.. the mp3 player is so good ya. so enjoy the songs while browsing my page. can skip2 lagu tau.. hehe.. and dunno la kalau u all notice, kat "Extras" ada game for you to play.. hehe. kira blog aku ni interactive la kan.. haha! concept kerja.. mesti Interactive!!

all the songs played is my fav songs currently.

1. Life in Mono - Mono
2.Soledad - Westlife
3.Sebenarnya kata pujangga - Iklim
4.Cinta Duyung Nelayan - Dikir Barat
5.Kau akan pulang - Exists.

okie, work.. ok2 lor.. busy sikit as the chn are having their assesments. cute kan? k1 kene exam.. haha! kesian diorg sume..

and the hype of the kidz fiesta. i am greatful with my bunch of colleagues who's giving me support for the Fiesta. jgn hangat2 taik ayam eh.. kot nanti bila da time nye korang sume malas.. aku tempeleng sorang satu..

hee~ ok la.. nak tido skrg bole tak? haha! ngantuk la kan..

nightmare

2006-05-08T04:32:00.000+08:00

woke up just now feel like i'm having a bad nightmare.
feeling so lost and confused on what's happening.
is it true what is being said?
is it true that we are through?
all the conversation we had kept playing in my mind..

i dun wanna face it. i know i can't. where will i get the courage from?

feeling so lonely without anyone here with me.
can anybody just shoot me dead? please pretty please..

soledad

2006-05-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind

If only you could heal my heart just one more time

Even when I close my eyes

There's an image of your face

And once again I come to realise

You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad

It's a keeping for the lonely

Why did you leave me

Soledad

In my heart you were the only

And your memory lives on

Why did you leave me

Soledad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free

Can't believe just what an empty place

It has come to be

I would give my life away

If it could only be the same

Cause I can't still the voice inside of me

That is calling out your name

Time will never change the things you told me

After all we're meant to be

love will bring us back to you and me

If only you could see

it's happenin

2006-05-07T11:54:00.000+08:00

gosh! i can't believe that what is being sung actually happens exactly to me...........

friday again..

2006-05-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

feeling damn slack today.. haiya. asal pun tak tau la.. kalau aku yg balik siang da penat, hamza yg kerja hampir 24 jam tiap hari mcm mana pulak eh?

tak sampai hati seh tengok dia tungkus lumus gitu. well, ada la cerita nye. tahan k sayang??

another thing that saddens me is that, i did not get to meet him that often now. dun get me wrong.. not being mushy or what. but kalau dia tinggal jauh, lain kisah tau. ni kita tinggal dekat seh. these 2 days, aku asyik nampak dia kat atas motor aje.. setakat NAMPAK tau.. he did not even notice me.. jadi aku ni dah mcm org tak tentu arah dlm bas kalau nampak kelibat dia.. touching kan? hehe.. apa seh.

dia busy kerja, and i try to understand his stand.. ok la, at least syukur dpt jugak nampak dia kan??? hehe..

2moro no school. yeeha! seronok.. bole bangun lambat kot.. alah, aku nye lambat, setakat kul 8 aje.. huhu..

nak jumpa sayang kuz.... please... nak beli kan mama nye mother's day present...

no LO.. yahoo!!

2006-05-05T09:46:00.000+08:00

in yesterday's post, i wrote that i'm goin to do my LP right? well, didn't do any.. typical EASMARIZA.. maleih la..
and received the good news, tomorrow mdm shah will be on leave and that's mean? I WILL BE HAVING NO LESSON OBSERVATION!! yahoo!!

and heard some rumours that the management will be giving out money early this month 4 the preparation 4 Bangkok.. but still, i need lots of it.. hehe.. can, be generous to us ya?

bangkok here i come..

2006-05-04T08:06:00.000+08:00

geez, missing him like again.. haha! well, bila ni nak dpt duit?? wait a min, i dpt gaji last week, this week mana??? haha! boros seh..

next month nak gi bangkok mcm mana?? duit tak banyak.. duit savings dah pakai.. haiz.. boring ni.. korek rahsia dari huda tadi..

what we will do there??

9th June - depart from Singapore to Bangkok. might reach there at 2 pm. then apa tau? Free & Easy.. best!!

10th June - Sight-seeing. Free & Easy. night bazaar & night safari..

11th June - morning:brainstorming.. afternoon: free & easy.. night:gala dinner. after that? Free & easy.

12th June - morning & afternoon: free & easy and depart from bangkok for singapore..

u see the itinery? lots of free & easy.. meaning? lots of shopping!!!!!!!!!! yahoo!!!!!! but money???? mama, if u're reading this, jgn lupa janji mama nak kasi iza duit k? nak minta ayah jugak.. almaklum, gaji iza tak seberapa...

haiz, da fikir2.. from singapore tak mau bawak baju banyak2. nak beli aje kat sana. then 4 my gala dinner.. mcm mana eh? satu aje siapa bole tolong.. mana nak dpt topi mcm si taufik batisah selalu pakai? kalau tau, tag me kay? won't disclose 1st what i'll be wearing just that our theme is - Floral Paradise.. *huhu*

okay la, wanna do my LO lesson plan.. haiz, penat la..

nak tengok something?

baby, i miss you...

i've stop dreaming..

2006-05-01T14:42:00.000+08:00

i have stop dreaming of a brighter future..
i have stop making promises..
i have stop trusting myself..

for everything that we do, will never ever gonna be on our way..

for dreams will be shattered..
for promises will be broken..
for trust will be betrayed..

but despite all that, i am sure HE has a better ways prepared for us.
and i know, it is for our own benefits..
but i dun have the courage to face it..

Allah, i really need ur guidance in these..
i really hope that we will be strong enuff to face all the obstacles prepared for us..

Baby, you know that i will always be with you..

i miss him

2006-04-30T14:18:00.000+08:00

i miss him.. soo much!! bila bole jumpa????? tak mau kerja selalu la...

went to yishun just now for my niece bday..

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY LAILA!!

keliling satu bugis cari hadiah.. so i bought her a necklace. then decide to buy my closest niece, Qad a very belated persent too.. so kill 2 birds with one stone. habis hutang aku. haha!

**then while walking just now, bumped into my former classmates. Zhahirah & Aisyah Rosli. haiz, i dunno.. when i see them, my heart was like beating fast. i was so excited! but speechless.. i have lots & lots to tell them but i can't. i wanna say that i miss sec 4 life so much! i miss everyone.. i miss those times.. i wanna hug them but i can't. i feel just now as if i'm wearing my school uniform and we were just like meeting everyday.. but ppl change ya.. we're young adults now. and those were just memories that we should cherish.. ok, enuff of that.**

for laila susah sikit nak cari managed to get the best.. for qad senang aje.. bought her a black crystal necklace and she said, she likes it so much.. i know her taste mah..

nothing more just miss him only. miss him..

2006-04-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

aaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

i love my new blog skin!!!

it's sooooooo personal right? like this is what i called, straight from the heart..

and i am amazed by the result..

haha!

gonna keep this skin for long..

on cloud nine, and i think that the song suits it very much!!

okay, will awe at it again now...

*everybody say.. awwwwww*

heee

2006-04-26T07:53:00.000+08:00

and now, i am contemplating again whether to go or give it a miss for the Bangkok trip. if i miss this time again, the management sure will see red eyes to me.

yes, our staff retreat this yr will be at Bangkok, Thailand. i am jolly happy to go but at this situations, i just can't leave him.. he need me. i know.

so how?? i wouldn't wanna hurt any parties. i'm trying to comply with everything.. but again..

didn't sleep last night at all! and end up getting a high fever and visit the poly and got 2 days MC. eh, murah eh doctor kat poly? lain kali gi lagi.. haha!

anyway, i'm totally speechless. dunno why.

i wanna say out the things in my heart but i have to refrain it. haiz..

just that i can say.. B, i will always be with you.. Insya Allah.

just a gentle reminder to all, and pls do take it seriously!!! i mean it. i learnt a lesson.
pls.. be careful on the road. you never know what's going to happen. those driving/riding, do not speed and try to beat the red light. biar lambat asal selamat.
to pedestrians, pls! use the traffic light to cross the road. and pls! cross only when you see the green man. and pls! do not try to be funny and run when u see there's vehicle approaching..

those boyfriends, husbands, gentlemen out there, even if u dun love ur girlfriends,wives,ladies, at least, do love yourself.

boring la kan..

2006-04-25T09:12:00.000+08:00

wei!!! saya boring giler.. tolong!!!!

20th

2006-04-22T11:25:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th for both of us!!

tiada yang kedua

2006-04-22T10:38:00.000+08:00

Haruskah aku menerima

kasihmu yang baru menguntum bunga

Jangan hanya indah di mata

Jangan disiarkan madah cinta

Namun bintang bukannya satu

Kerlipan hatiku ingin kau buru

Ada hanya kau kehampaan

Jangan aku yang jadi alasan

Ku fikir kau teman biasa

Tidak akan berputik cinta

Mungkin jua belum menjelma

Aku tak sanggup dikecewa

Cintaku satu untuk selamanya

Aku pencinta yang setia

Mustahil ada yang kedua

today!!

2006-04-17T09:45:00.000+08:00

isy, had lotsa lotsa lotsa fun fun fun today!! early morning, went to Al-Wehdah, the Arab Association for the majlis maulid with my family.. *ehem*. baik kan?? hehe.. and went back to tukar baju.. asal eh? nak kelua dgn hamza la... miss him again, baru dpt jumpa lepas 4 hari.. ok, 3 hari setengah. haha!

we do not have any plan initially.. meet him pun serabai aje. dgn t-shirt OP and slipper OP.. selekeh to the max nye.. then i suggest why not kita gi "buang duit". haha! and suprisingly, he agreed. so, i ajak la gi tengok wayang.. ajak depa pi Great World City, sekali depa salah masuk lane dah gi beach road.. so he said gi kat Shaw Ctr la. tengok movie kat sana.. alahai.. 3 aje? so aku ajak la gi Suntec City.. jalan kaki gi Suntec and tengok movie kat sana.. beli tix dulu tengok Ice Age 2 kul 530. haha.. lame seh. jam masih kul 330. so apa nak buat kan? dia nak famous amos pulak. so i drag him la gi marina. turun bawah nampak Ben & Jerry. tot of having ice-cream there.. but the price, malaun betul. sikit peh mahal.. tak jadi aku.. nak basahkan tekak dgn ice-cream $8? tak muai.. turun basement beli la New Zealand Natural.. haha! ice-cream jugak.. harga $6. haiz, tak dak beza no..

jalan lagi gi Millenia.. jumpa my bro yg kerja kat Sembawang.. then jalan la gi Marina.. dah beli cookies sume.. *yg at last, kita tak makan pun* aku pun sound la yg lapar.. ingat makan kat cavana ke LJS aje la kan.. sekali dia ajak gi mana tau? Swensens la.. TQ baby.. terharu. coz, this is the 1st time i makan Swensen dgn dia.. ye la, selalu dia jugak yg suro budget but tadi.. hmm.. tak pe la.. had my Teriyaki Chicken pasta and his Breaded Chicken & ICE-CREAM AGAIN! hehe.. lantak la korang.. bayang kan la kita yg selekeh ni dine in kat restaurant.. tak glamour seh. but in the end kita fikir2 kan, next time makan aje kat tempat fav kita kat Bedok North block 501. lagi kenyang.. murah pun murah.. haha. but overall, i like it la.

see, everytime when we plan impromptu, selalu menjadi.. but kalau dah seminggu plan, alahai lengit aku cakap.. and hari ni aku declare yg aku BUANG DUIT!! AaArrGGhh!!

but neh mind, gaji is like..... how many days lagi eh?? *rolls eyes*

i love you my dear.. u light up my life.. and i want u to be with me always..

best friends..

2006-04-16T11:40:00.000+08:00

i purposely put up this song as i am missing my friends.. AGAIN! seeing dila tagged me, i feel that i miss those times..

how time flies.. still remember during my primary & secondary school days, had a few sets of best friends.. ya, sets.. kira pandai la bahagi kasih sayang kat kawan2. here's the list la seingat aku..

my 1st ever best friend will be Nur Rasyidah Ibrahim.. coz she was in the same preschool as me, PKMS, which later i found out that hamza too was there. and i heart her so much for my parents said that she's pretty. kira kawan dgn org cantik, tempias la kecantikan nye.. tapi sayang seribu kali sayang.. *pouts* anihoos, sekejap aje la aku berkawan dgn dia. but still she never forgets to invite me to her engagement ceremony.. dah tunang kawan tu..

my 2nd will be Nur Fazilah Rosmin. for we were the monitress that time and always compete to be the best but again, i was defeated. *pouts* pandai jugak cuma kurang aje dr fazilah.. so, she chose to find other best friends.. hehe.. ok lor..

my 3rd, Zhahirah Salleh. hehe.. dia ni selalu dtg rumah sebelum gi skola.. haha! buat mcm rumah sendiri ek? hehe. ya, dia la satu2 nye kawan yg mak aku selalu bawak kan bekal.. haha! untung kau zhahirah..

my 4th will be Kartini Salim. pepagi selalu gi skola sama dia.. ni dah masuk secondary.. minat kat org pun sesama.. haha! tapi dia menang la kan.. sbb cantik.. aku kalau kawan dgn org cantik aje la. tapi aku tak cantik jugak.. banyak kenangan kita sesama kan.. dgn dia jugak banyak aku lepas kan geram.. selalu jugak bertekak dgn dek ni. selalu kalau weekend kelua sesama.. gi konsert pun sesama.. KRU la dulu2 tu. kita dulu panggil nama kita KarEasma.. sedap kan? mcm karisma.. hehe. until one day when she decided to take the mrt instead of bus.. ye la, dah pindah.. i think from there, kita dah renggang..

my 5th will be Nadiah Abd Razak. dgn dek ni giler sikit. mati tak nak.. haha! but sekejap aje la coz aku advance ke another level, dia stay.. cerita pasal dia akan bersambung..

my 6th will be Siti Fatimah Jaafar. haiz, yg ini banyak sgt kalau aku nak bercerita.. jadi malas.. haha!

my 7th. Dalila & Diana Jumaat. haiz, sayang betul kat diorg.. dgn diorg aje la aku bole balik sampai 2 pagi.. haha! dgn diorg la aku kalau travel gi kl. dgn diorg la selalu lepak buang duit kat cafe2. hehe. best.. cantik jugak diorg ni.. dgn diorg la selalu aku berbual pasal masa depan.. i miss you girls!!!

my 8th, beberapa org serentak.. Syahida Samad, Zakiah Abd Hamid, Zainab as-sughra, Firdaus Miswan and ntah lagi.. with this girls, aku ada group name. kita namakan diri kita Jebon.. haha! pasal kita la paling merepek sekali.. still keeping in touch with the girls..
dgn firdaus, hmmm.. no comment la.. dah hilang pun.. sbb aku yg meghilangkan diri dari dia.. if you're reading this bro, thanks for all the times we shared...

my 9th, Nur Aisyah Abdullah.. my joy and my sunshine in Maarif. always be the one giving me encouragement. always there to hear my dreams. always be the one who supports my dreams.. thanks dearie..

my 10th, Jenifer hung. haha! kawan time class CPT. selalu balik sesama kan Jen?? kau pandai ckap melayu kan Jen?? kau sayang aku kan Jen?? aku pun sayang kau.. kita gi gym sesama k Jen?? hehe.. we lost contact last yr, but contacy balik this yr..

my 11th, Nadiah Abd Razak again and Farhana Abd Rahman serentak.. kawan kerja ni.. and this is the ppl aku paling banyak membuat janji.. i simply love them...

with our friendship bands.. hehe. masih pakai seh.. ye la, kita masih muda pe...

lastly, i wanna make an announcement.. I MISS MY BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!! aLL OF THEM!!!!!! *crying*

those were the days..

2006-04-16T10:09:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time there was a tavern

Where we used to raise a glass or two

Remember how we laughed away the hours

And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend

We thought they'd never end

We'd sing and dance forever and a day

We'd live the life we choose

We'd fight and never lose

For we were young and sure to have our way

.La la la la...

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us

We lost our starry notions on the way

If by chance I'd see you in the tavern

We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend

We thought they'd never end

We'd sing and dance forever and a day

We'd live the life we choose

We'd fight and never lose

For we were young and sure to have our way.

La la la la...

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern

Nothing seemed the way it used to be

In the glass I saw a strange reflection

Was that lonely woman really me

Those were the days my friend

We thought they'd never end

We'd sing and dance forever and a day

We'd live the life we choose

We'd fight and never lose

For we were young and sure to have our way.

La la la la...

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Through the door there came familiar laughter

I saw your face and heard you call my name

Oh my friend we're older but no wiser

For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend

We thought they'd never end

We'd sing and dance forever and a day

We'd live the life we choose

We'd fight and never lose

For we were young and sure to have our way.

La la la la...

Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

good friday

2006-04-15T14:48:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning just now, breathe the early morning breeze... and made the decision to... prepare breakfast for the family.. yes, you hear me right, this lazybum actually prepared breakfast for the family..

menu: ala simple aje.. what ppl eat for breakfast la.. bread with mashed boiled egg add with a little bit of mayonnaise and pepper topped it up with chilli sauce and toast it! haha! bangga aku coz i know most of my friends still not awake yet..

clean up the house with mama dearest when the guys went out for friday prayers. and guess what? i learn cooking again! not that i've never cooked before but dah kembali la nak masak memasak ni..

so what's the menu?

sup ayam ala soto.. bergedil and sayur goreng.. sedap kan? kan? hujan2 hirup sup, alahai, terangkat.. and aku dah tau buat sambal soto.. haha! bole kalahkan Hajah Maimunah restaurant saya cakap dgn awak.. haha!

then, dah kul 5 ptg, hujan pun dah stop, guess apa pulak aku buat? gi JOGGING!
yes again, you hear me right.. i gi jogging you.. from my house to bedok reservoir park dah start jogging.. then kat park, i round the whole bedok reservoir park.. fuh! sorang2 tu.. best sgt.

i feel that i fill up my holiday well today.. and next week, i'll be in the gym with Jenny!! yeahness!!!!! Jen!! i'll meet you again.. and we make it our weekly schedule.. tak sabar seh..

Iza on the way to a healthy living lifestyle.. Yipppeee!!!!

i'm missing him..

yippee!!

2006-04-13T11:19:00.000+08:00

double yippee for me!! one, got to meet him after.......... 4 days? hehe.. so happy!
i did something silly.. khekhe.. bought him 2 bars of Milo bar chocolate and i actually tied it up with ribbon and nicely done.. haha! but too bad, that guy does not seem appreciative enough after all the hussle. *pouts* hehe, but neh mind, he smiled looking at me.. and that smiles wash away all my pain.. woohoo!

2ndly, he bought for me an mp3!! yeahness!! went to mustafa center to survey but end up, we buy it. i was contemplating whether to take creative or samsung.. both models were good.. one is Creative muuvo and the other samsung yada yada yada.. the functions is the same. both got surround system. both got fm radio. both is lightweight. but what creative lack is the OGG format which don't support conversion of songs. and samsung is more user-friendly.. so ya, i took samsung.. * but b, i nak yg 1 gb nye* but neh mind.. i still love you for this.. yg penting ada nama eh b?? hehe.. beratus jugak you habis kan. hehe.

and we just slack around munching on the junkies. hehe.. i soo loving today.. apa seh berbual..

geez, that's all la. charging my mp3.. woohoo!

mish them

2006-04-10T01:25:00.000+08:00

Friends Forever..

perdamaian

2006-04-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

currently this song is stuck in my mind.. asal eh? and also i loike so much this group. GIGI!!!! gw keren banget dgn kamu!! haha! their song is sooooo... pleasant. hehe.. very soulful to the ears. lagi2 album Repackage-Raihlah Kemenangan. ya, i know, i'm back dated for their album was out last Ramadhan. but still, i love!

this song sebenarnya, lagu qasidah oleh sebuah kumpulan nasyid.. but GIGI have it modernised to suit the listeners pleasures. ewah! dah buat research makanye pasal lagu ni.. menunjukkan betapa serius nya aku ttg lagu ni..

yes, at the moment, we need so much - PEACE!

all around the world, they are having elections here & there. and news have it round that there'll be demonstrations everywhere.. so ya, what we need is WORLD PEACE!

not only for the elections, but those with their own problems too. stop the catfight and just have peace ya.

enjoy the song..and lastly - Peace be Upon You..
tengok, islam mmg dah menerapkan unsur2 kesejahteraan dlm tiap diri manusia. sbb itu tiap kali kita jumpa saudara sesama muslim, di sunatkan memberi salam dan wajib utk kita jawab salam..utk sama-sama menikmati kesejahteraan di dunia & akhirat. betapa indahnya Islam..

i love my friends..

2006-04-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

today is the last day Nadiah being my colleague. she's leaving us & the children.. i feel damn so sad.. just imagine, for three years she has been my lunch partner. we have been together through ups & downs. she have seen me crying.. i'll confide in her everytime i need a shoulder to cry on. and now? she's leaving?? damn!!! not forgetting the 10 years that i've been with her in school. i've seen her like half of my life. in & out, daily.. she's there. but not anymore.. Nadiah, why must you go???

and just now, we had a girls out to the mall. just to kill time together with Nana.. and bought lotsa things together. to show our friendship.. hope that it really lasts.
coz i really love them.. love as in sister lup.

Nadiah & Nana.. heart you girls so much.

circle of friends.. why circle? coz it has no ends..

looking great chilling outz.

lastly girls, i do really hope that we won't let our friendship go to waste for i treasure it a lot!

And Nadiah, do take care ya.. missing you already..

laypark

2006-04-04T12:20:00.000+08:00

tadi hujan kan?? lebat kan?? seram kan?? but best tadi dpt mandi hujan.. bukan sengaja.. but to shelter the chn from the rain.. basah kuyup gue. tak ada maaf sia. i'm totally wet. biar aku basah, jgn anak2 aku. hmm..

got interesting facts abt lightning just now.. bagi aku interesting la, but to some mungkin dah tau.. to know if the lightning is near us or not, when you see a lightning, count 1 to ++ la.. for example, when i see a lightning, i count, 1,2,3 then comes the thunder, then it shows that the lighning is just 3 km from me.

but just now, tak sempat kira, dah ada thunder and the bunyi was so the frightening. budak2 nangis serentak.. kesian. and my mdm says that the lighning is just above us yg memegang payung.. Alhamdulillah that nothing happens to any of us.

then around 630, dah kelua kerja.. gi laypark.. nak tau kat mana? kedai kopi depan kerja jugak.. hehe. kelakar seh. situ jugak kita nak duduk. sampai hampir kul 9 kat situ.. org suro balik tak mau tau. hehe.. best berbual with the besties..

and tomorrow ada excursion to Yakult factory. best kan? dpt yakult free. hehe. apa je.. and now, kepala gue dah fening la.. mana tak.. bermandi hujan.. nak aje gue mc.

haiz...

yeah

2006-04-03T11:01:00.000+08:00

met baby dearest.. at last! windu seh dgn dia.. aniwei, just now, went to a jemputan i-dunno-who la tapi.. but the deco, nice giler.. theme black & white. like so modern like that.. ye la, some of the malays kan got restriction on colours during big day.. but just now, the deco so the vogue-n-the-vass.. got the feeling it's expensive. with the chandelier hanging and on each pillar ( covered with black & white cloth ) ada lampu lagi.. so overall mcm vogue, gothic gitu.. suka akak!

then balik ke rumah abg hammad, laypark kat situ.. karaoke. sampai hujan lebat! kalau org2 east rasa tadi hujan dia mcm extra, sbb tadi banyak katak menyanyi.. termasuk akak jugak.. haha!

and sbg penutup, kita satisfy our taste bud with pizza and lots of pizza. our baby MJ nak makan,so kongsi2 beli pizza. cute kan..

and next week kita ada jemputan lagi, and bulan depan our Mail MJ & Aliyah MJ pulak kahwin.. tak sabar adik.. adik la pulak.. hehe..

kk, saya dah penat.. besok2 berbual k..

adios berambus..

penat..

2006-04-02T13:40:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah, today's events ended up well. i made it to both of the venues.

1st stop after my class in Bugis, took the train with kak ema & tchr halimah to woodlands to attend one of our colleagues wedding. all the way in the MRT, we made plans of leaving the workplace. haha! dgr2 la kan, bulan 7 ni habis course, kalau betul, alangkah indah dunia..

aniwei, SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU NURANI & LAILI. semoga jodoh kekal hingga ke anak cucu & selamanya ke Syurga.. Amiiin.

here's a pic yg kita sempat amek bersama pengantin..

biasa la aku mesti nak amek sebelah pengantin, amek berkat.. Amiin.

2nd stop, Syahida's house. best jumpa kawan lama.. we catch up a lot with each other. on the way there, tali kasut aku terputus.. aduh, saliha betul la.. tak glam seh.. aniwei, tak menyalahkan sesiapa, aku aje yg ganas gak nye..

dia pindah rumah tak jauh dari rumah lama dia, jalan kaki je.. hehe. kelakar seh. overall, we had fun cherishing our moments..

ni pulak gambar2 yg ada..

me with zakiah & syahida.. kawan lama..

me with Syahida.. heart her alot.. sayang dia..
me with zakiah.. apa nak jadi dhn pompan ni.. hehe.

itu aje la yg aku dpt cakap.. best hari ni.. kalau ada abang lagi best.. tak pe, besok kita jumpa.. tak sabar seh..

friday

2006-04-01T14:11:00.000+08:00

holla peeps. feeling groovy with this song.. i'm in high spirit. happy banget.. BUT! i dunno how to say tis eh, i'm still perplexed. yes, that's the word. i abhor this feeling so much!

y must always i be the victim? of EVERYTHING? y must i be the one having to endure EVERYTHING? y must i be always be the one who ppl find fault with? haiz.

i need space to breath too. i deserve it right? i know, i can. but WHERE & WHEN??

i read some motivational thoughts. y must we wait for happiness to come? that is why, i always make myself happy. laugh at my own silly jokes. gawk at my own face. proud of myself. I DUN NEED ANYBODY! but i still need him. that's my weakness.

i just need, ppl, i need space. i want to be free. let me out of my cage. let me be myself........

back..

2006-03-31T09:29:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum semua...

ewah, dah baik la aku. hehe.. well, back again after hibernating. cewah, berapa hari aje..

feeling much2 better now. isy, besok meeting kidz fiesta.. apa seh aku nak tunjukkan kat heads sume?? takut seh.

anyway, this coming weekend is somehow i'm waiting for.. banyak sgt agenda nye. ewah.. tak sabar akak.

by the way nir, you tag apa ah? tak faham sgt.. hehe. lagu sedap? abe stress?? ckp pasal stress, matair aku mana ni skrg? dr tadi tak call. haiz, dia tak call, senang aje, aku tido.. hehe.

hmm, wanna know more about me? jap eh..

Easmariza is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Easmariza will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Easmariza an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Easmariza is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Easmariza is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

my say: ada jugak la betul.. yg part aku ni simpati kan org sgt mmg betul la.. haiz, bagus tau dpt client mcm aku.. haha! as much as i am being open-minded, tapi aku ttp ada nilai2 tradisional dlm diri.. so the part yg dia ckp she will not tolerate that is far too out.. mmg pun. jadi depan aku, jgn over ok. akak tak suka!! haha!
actually blog ni pun pasal nak blog nye pasal... haha!

dah la bye!

mama

2006-03-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

this post is specially dedicated to my lovely Mama...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

i know you'll be reading this..

mama, iza tak dapat meluahkan rasa kesal iza ni di hadapan mama.. iza sungguh malu utk berdepan dgn mama.. tapi dgn serendah2 diri iza, iza memohon ampun dan maaf dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki iza, kerana menyakiti hati mama...

iza tau, i am not suppose to treat you that way.. iza tau bukan senang mama nak didik anak perempuan.. i knoe i am a shame to you..

i know betapa besarnya dosa seorg anak menderhaka kpd org tua.. lebih2 lagi kepada seorg ibu.

betapa susah nya seorg ibu mambawa kandungan dlm perut selama 9 bulan.. memberikan kasih sayang yg tak berbelah bagi kpd anak2 nya.. selalu mendoakan yg terbaik utk anak nya..

mama tau tak, dlm iza tulis post yg hari tu, iza nangis.. iza bagai dah tak dapat kasih sayang mama.. jarak kita bagai sudah jauh.. tapi rupa nye salah.. mama masih tetap sayang kan iza..

i am such a failure mama.. org pun cakap iza memang susah nak lentur.. iza memang tak boleh buat the slightest thing.. what i am best at is whine..

mungkin i am under stress mama.. you know how much i hated my job right? iza nak jadi berjaya.. iza nak dapat gaji yg banyak.. semua nya utk apa? dgn ikhlas iza cakap, bukan utk kahwin mama.. iza nak beri mama kesenangan.. iza nak mama hidup selesa.. iza tak suka tengok mama terkurung kat rumah aje.. iza nak belanja mama dgn ayah keluar negeri holiday..

but iza tak ada daya utk itu semua mama..

thanks sbb buka kan mata iza tentang peranan iza sebagai seorg anak.. i know i've failed you.. i dissapoint you..

and kalau abg cakap yg iza ni org nye yg tak tahu menyesal, he's wrong mama.. i'm crying alone in my room skrg ni tak ada org tau.. iza pun tak mau bilang dgn hamza pasal ni.. siapa yg nak pujuk..

mama, iza minta maaf sekali lagi mama.. as my blog is my 2nd revenue utk luahkan perasaan.. therefore, i lebih selesa luahkan kat sini..

cuma satu, i know, i will not be like Easmariza yg dulu ma.. iza dulu masih berlembut.. iza skrg hati nya dah busuk mama.. hati iza skrg dah keras.. ego iza meningkat tinggi, i am sure you are aware of that.

i am so sorry that i created trouble for you and your family.. walaupun mama memang lahirkan iza, but i dun feel part of you all anymore. ini bukan utk menjatuhkan reputasi keluarga.. but i declare myself that i no longer feel as close to you all like before..

maybe it is just me mama.. it is definitely is just me..

you all still have your bonding.. you all can still talk about things.. but not me mama.. iza takut kalau iza cakap lagi, will just create turmoil in this house.
i will still do my duty as a daughter.. will still give you money walaupun dgn gaji iza yg tak seberapa ni.. will still doakan kesejahteraan mama dan keluarga.. cuma iza dah tak rapat lagi mama.. maybe it is time for me to act as grown up and do things independently..

iza terlamapu sayangkan mama tau.. if you can read my post2 selama ini.. how i junjung you kat my blog ma.. how i salute you as a mum ma. cuma sayang sungguh mama cuma nampak iza tulis yg buruk sahaja..

dlm dunia ni, iza cuma look up to you aje.. kalau you tak suka, iza pun turut tak suka.. see how much you influence me.. sampai lagu yg mama suka, seboleh2 iza cari kan mama.. and coz i know you're reading my blog, iza letak kan lagu favourite mama ni..

you know how much i miss your cookings? you know how much i yearn to see your face everyday.. iza nak mama duduk dgn iza makan mcm mana mama duduk dgn abg eas..

kalau dia kerja, iza pun kerja mama.. masa kerja kita sama aje.. tapi tak pe la, mungkin memang salah sbb iza menjauhkan diri dari keluarga..

i've said enough.. once again, sincerely from the bottom of my heart, i apologized. iza minta maaf mama sayang.. biar iza tanggung azab api neraka sbb menderhaka dgn mama.. iza deserve that all..

itu sahaja mama..

mungkin selepas ini, jarak kita makin bertambah jauh.. but if you wanna know anything about me mama, just datang aje k kat sini..

komputer ni tempat iza mengadu.. bak kata abg pun, org2 lain pun dah naik malas dgn iza..

wassalam ma.. semoga kita dapat rapat lagi spt dulu..

dan lagi satu, selamat hari lahir ayah.. iza pun sayangkan ayah jugak.. iza lagi kurang berbual dgn ayah.. tapi iza masih sayang ayah.. tanpa mama & ayah, tak ada la iza dlm dunia ini...

tapi iza masih tetap rasa yg lebih baik sekiranya iza tak wujud langsung dlm dunia ni.. iza ni bak kuman yg menjahanamkan org lain...

my handwriting..

2006-03-26T13:59:00.000+08:00

i had somebody analyze my handwriting and to discover my personality.. and i guess, it is tho not perfect, but near-perfectly true.. therefore, i'll tell you bit by bit at the end of my entry ya..

so for today,

Easmariza has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

My say: i do like to play with my imagination.. sometimes my imagination run wild.. haha! i do let new ppl come into my life. but i just love being with the ppl i had in my life now.. trustworthy? you be the judge. i may seem kpo about things. but when comes to keeping ppl secret, i do keep.. so ya..

Dealova

2006-03-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu

aku ingin menjadi sesuatu

yg mungkin bisa kau rindu

karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu

oh karena hati tlah letih

aku ingin menjadi sesuatu

yg selalu bisa kau sentuh

aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu

tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati

oh bayangmu seakan-akan

reff: kau seperti nyanyian dalam hati

kuyg memanggil rinduku padamu

seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada

hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang

tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang

dan sepi, dan sepi

repeat reff [2x]

selalu ada, kau selalu adaselalu ada, kau selalu ada

dah tak Lemas lagi.. konon nyanyi kan utk Hamza.. haha!

APM 2006

2006-03-26T09:35:00.000+08:00

you watched APM yesterday night?? in my views, this year round, it was the best APM ever.. although to the some glitches but overall it was SUPERB!

no, i didn't go to Max Pavillion.. i've quit in going for shows.. watched the event at Suria..

Congrats to all the winners. this year round, the winners varies. unlike the previous years, when an artist dah menang satu, seterusnya la dia menang.. think back when Art Fazil bagai bolot everything.. then Jai yg tak semena2 menang banyak award.. this year seems like everybody were given a chance to receive the trophy.. and i should say that the judges picked the creme of all.. i'm very much satisfied with the result..

this year the hosts pun gerek.. Aznil & Adi memang la bagus in hosting.. Fiza O & the indonesian host pun best. the indon lady is soooooo swweeeettt.. cute seh!

here's the good & bad parts of the show yesterday..

1. when Ello won the Penyanyi Baru Lelaki Terbaik, his "world" actually tumbled off from the hand.. asal eh? ni kes tak check dulu eh? kesian seh.. mesti malu kan dia.. nasib baik dia pandai cover.. Satisfied with the award.

2. Opening performances dia baik.. pandai amek VE dgn Ahli Fiqir as an opening acts. mula je dah energetic.. mesti throughout pun baik jugak..

3. group paling best sampaikan award, Ello, Mawi & Taufik, pandai kan Mawi buat kelakar.. tak sangka seh.. and Mawi won the Lagu Paling Popular and Taufik won the Penyanyi lelaki Popular.. Satisfied with the awards..

4. Performance paling entertaining, Mawi & Taufik Gadis Melayu.. paling best sekali.. terpekik terlolong aku kat rumah.. rasa mcm ada dlm panggung jugak..

5. Medley by Vince, Eka, Adam, Nikki. if you notice when Vince semangat joget, he accidently terlanggar mic Adam sampai jatuh.. malu no.2 utk APM this year..

6. Ratu singing Teman tapi mesra.. nasib baik diorg kurus kan.. pakai baju gitu pun org tak marah.. mcm baby doll dua2. energetic performance.

7. Loloq won the Anugerah Khas.. i like him won. but my parents said that actually they should let our own Yusnor Ef to win the award.. ya la, he's old and maaf2 cakap, alah.. paham aje la kan.. kalau tak kasi skrg takut tak dapat bagi terus.. should make Loloq win at the upcoming APM..

8. Nurul & Ajai duet Serasi.. lagu memang power.. eh? Nurul Ngandung eh? anyway, asal la Ajai gi tindik telinga eh? i know la, they are rich already but jgn la lupa daratan.. takut indah hanya sementara. he should be reminded that his wealth and talent ada la anugerah Tuhan.. but not only to Ajai alone la.. but to all the male singers..

9. Siti being teased about being a Datin.. hehe. ppl sebenarnye suka ke tak ni, Siti kalau kahwin dgn Datuk K? tunggu aje la masa k.

10. medley utk Lagu Terbaik serious ah this year.. kalau last year nye best.. Saiful Apek buat kelakar..

11. halfway through Dayang sing the medley for Loloq, tetiba technical problem pulak.. ni mesti kes org sabo tau. tak pun, abg2 camera man kita terpijak wire. malu no.3

12. Anugerah paling best! Lagu Terbaik - Dealova.. i love that song!!

13. Anugerah paling sedih.. Album Terbaik - Chrisye. sedih seh when tau Chrisye sakit.. hopefully dia pulih balik la.. lagu2 dia power!!

ada siapa2 nak add??

hmm.. teringat zaman dolu2 gi tengok APM..

1st year tak gi.. kawan2 bastard aku tak ajak.. diorg gi senyap2.

2nd year, pergi dgn Nadiah.. kita the 1st to line up tau! best sekali.. that time belum ada no. seat lagi.. Free seating. itu yang thrill nak chop tempat depan2. haha! and we got to sit 3rd row from the stage.. best seh..

3rd year, pergi kat KL pulak.. sanggup seh.. Gi Bukit Jalil.. besar seh stadium dia.. Jumpa Tam Spider.. hehe.. this time jugak la kenal dgn Phyne Ballerz.

4th year gi kat Singapore Expo.. dah ada seating.. tak berapa best sgt la dat time.. coz nak Hazrul Nizam menang tapi tak.. at last aku tertido seh kat sana.. Boring sgt..

5th year, tak pergi dan tak tengok pun..

this year, paling best! waktu best, tak pulak aku pergi..

hehe.. aku berbual ni mcm wartawan hiburan pulak eh kasi2 komen.. hehe.. okla, enjoy la the song yg dinobatkan sebagai LAGU TERBAIK APM 2006, DEALOVA.

hyrul anuar

2006-03-25T12:01:00.000+08:00

okay, wanna update yesterday's event..

Hyrul Anuar visited our school yesterday.. best seh. kelakar jugak si dek tu.. very friendly and caring towards the children.. he talked about what his dreams and who is he when he was still a kid. the children love it so much!

he sang for us 3 songs.. Hanya Memuji, Kata & I believe i can fly.. suara dia sedap seh. baru aku sedar.. tapi sedih ah Khairil tk ada.. dia tunggu luar aje.

dr kul 9 sampai kul 12 dia ada kat situ.. dia makan sume.. yg cute nye dia makan kat pantry kita.. haha! apa aje.. dia nampak aku mop muntah.. malu seh. hey, but that's what we do every day what.. tak penting la..

okay, kita tengok gambar k..

him singing Hanya Memuji..

kanak2 menyanyi lagi Pop Yeh Yeh.. haha!

me & my partner with the Juara anugerah himself.. haha! kentalz..

and yah, so that it is.. siapa lagi artis nak datang??

tadi, kawan ku, zainab & kak nurul, dtg interview kerja. buat apa seh diorg?? but seriously, aku happy sekali nampak diorg.. tak sabar nak jumpa diorg lagi this 1st April.. kak nurul dah 4 tahun tak nampak aku, kata aku kurus.. haha! buat kelakar keapa? ada patut dia kata aku pakai corset? gila ke apa? hehe..

k la, itu aje la.. besok2 gua update lagi..

21st march

2006-03-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

it's the 21st right?? HAPPY 19th MONTH-AVERSARY sayang.. hehe.. lagi 5 months to the 24th. woohoo! tak penting seh..

what do we do today? intend to jalan2 only la kan.. but end up, aku kat rumah dia pulak.. oooi, buat apa agaknye..

actually, today is his baba's bday.. so we celebrated there.. best kan? they did a suprise party for her.. and when dia kelua, nampak aku, his aunts says that this is the suprise.. hehe. malu ah. when nenek dia tanya siapa ni, diorg cakap cucu menantu.. alahai.. malu ah.

ada makan2 la kan.. aku tengok naik seram.. ye la.. org tgh diet.. hehe... ah, bedal aje la.. baru habis buat senaman..

aniwei b, thanks ya for everything all this while... LOVE YOU!

diet

2006-03-21T12:17:00.000+08:00

dah berapa lama org dengar aku nak diet? wahaha! fear no more coz i'm on my journey in losing some pounds.. yah!

but i dun go to the extreme, i still eats. only now, i limit myself to something healthy.

for lunch, i've been having fruit salad only. been few days already. for dinner, i'll just have any dish that my mum has cooked, minus the rice. and only have it in small serving.. if, i feel like eating so much, i'll just cook my oats. cool huh?

hehe.. tak sangka seh i made this decision. seronok jugak la rasanya. but the godaan, fuh! jgn cakap ah.. the pisang goreng memanggil2 aje, the chocolates.. aduh! jgn cakap la.. and maybe my body system is trying to get used to this kind of routine, i've seen double aje.. my eyesight mcm joking2 gitu. the giddiness won't fade. haiya, tahan ok? hehe..

and so, the 1st day of the term.. mak eih, lengit to the ma seh. badan banyak....malas. nak kata aku rehat banyak, tak pun.. tetap buzy ulang alik course.. belum dapat momentum dia la.. haha! sabar2 aje la..

TEACHERS!! I NEED YOUR SCRIPT FOR KIDZ FIESTA! YOU'RE BEHIND TIME ALREADY!!

ceh, mcm notice board pulak aku nye blog ni.. ok la.. ciow dulu..

friends..

2006-03-19T14:35:00.000+08:00

as i'm writing this post.. i'm actually missing my friends dearly.. friends from my secondary life till my work colleague.

yesterday, i dreamt of my best friend in school, Syahida.. told her about it. in school, she's like a sister to me. i always confide in her if i have any problem. we will have our recess together.. but sadly, we have to parted ways..

i have loads of dear friends in school.. but where are thou? aku rindu la.. whenever i'm alone, i will reminisce the moments we had together in school. how we skipped school just to act in our self-made movie, how we were reprimanded for throwing a birthday party for a friend in school.. mana tak nye, kita simbah air and basah kan sekolah.. haha! how we were always being the rascals in school.. banyak lagi la..

and everytime i visited my school, i will stand infront of the classroom and as though i've seen us again.. where i'm sitting, where i will always hide my "illegal" things.. and w/o me realizing tears rolled down my cheek. i miss those moments. seriously..

*wiping off tears*

i even miss my guy friends which i .. i dun have a lot. seriously.. i only have about 3 in my entire life?

fir, my bro, my buddy, my confidante.. how he always there for me.. who will always be the 1st person to wish me luck in whatever exams i took. who will be the 1st person to concern if he noes i'm sick.. and so on.. now, i pray for his well-being and all the best in everything he does..

***, my friend.. who i knoe will confide in me in every relationship problems that he had.. i wll be his listening ear.. hehe.. hey, i still remember you treated me ice-cream.. thanks hor! his dreams is to join the police force.. may the force be with you ha..

still, you guys rock! but my bf now rockers! haha!

and last but not least.. my colleagues.. had my dinner with my 2 besties after visiting our mdm in hospital.. i dunno, today after dinner i decided to go home & didn't follow them out.. and as we parted ways, and i'm in the bus.. tears just kept welling in my eyes. i feel like i'm going to lose them soon.. why? i love them.. must they go from me??

*wiping off tears*

so sayang, now you noe what i feel when i always say that i do not want to lose you? coz i hold dearly ppl that have been in & out of my life.. moreover if they are close to me.. and right now, you are the closest person in my life. therefore, if ever you have to leave me, imagine on how my life will be..

and i will never get enough of saying I LOVE YOU to you..

2006-03-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

alah.. dah nak balik kerja ke?? tak nak ah.. malas la.. malas nak kerja lagi.. bole tak? sape2 ada duit? nak pinjam..

hmmm, end of class this week with makan2. best seh. ya, lupa nak bilang.. smlm kitorg lunch kat tekka.. makan tosei! power to the ma punya.. menjilat jari seh.. ajak sayang gi, ada aje alasan dia.. so, bawak la kawan2 gi sana.. dia nye briyani pun, gunung seh.. banyak giler.. ayam masala dia, fuh! tak terangkat beb.

and hari ni, kita lunch kat liang seah st. aku makan shredded chicken mushroom noodle. itu kalau kasi aku bermangkuk2 pun, aku bole habiskan la.. sedap!!

sayang, i nak makan lagi la tu.. can right? bole la.... nak sgt.... dah tak nak makan karipap lagi.. nak shredded chicken noodle..... puh-leeeeeze...

pencuci mulut kita- sushi.. hehe. berkoyan sushi kita makan.. so heavenly.. hehe..

ha, siapa ada berkeping2 duit 1000 ni, sila call aku k.. nak sikit la.. isy, gembira hati aku dapat pegang duit ni.. bukan selalu seh.. haiz, bila la impian menjadi kenyataan kan..

2006-03-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

lemas ku dalam dakapanmu
tidak ku sangka kau tertipu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya

lemas ku dalam pelukanmu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa

memang dia orangnya
mulanya memang sempurna
tiada yang buruk darinya
bahagia sentiasa dirasa ohh..

tapi kini dah berubah
yang indah jadi derita
aku resah gelisah
yang tinggal hanyalah sakit dan peritnya

kini aku mula sedari
apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayanganmu
tapi itu semua dulu
memang ku tidak mahu teruskan percintaan ini bersamamu

(bukan kubenci...) kepadamu
(bukan kubenci...) oh watakmu percayalah kataku...aku rimas, aku lemas
(bukan kubenci...) cemburumu
(bukan kubenci...) kau ekori ku percayalah kataku...aku rimas, aku lemas

ruffedge - lemas

2006-03-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

haha! belum pun concert Jason Mraz start, aku dah tukar lagu lagi.. siapa yg tak tau kan.. hehe.. rasa2 nye, semenjak pakai skin ni, tak pernah kan aku letak lagu melayu? so now is the perfect time...

well, ladies & gentlemen, presenting.....

RUFFEDGE with LEMAS.....

*clap hands*

hehe, terasa mcm nak letak la lagu ni.. sedap kan? *i knoe* tengok la siapa yg minat..

aku tau org mesti tak percaya kan yg 1 time dulu aku rapat dgn diorg lagi2 dgn The Man - Mr Azan Addin!

ya, time tu aku ada tulis yg PB ada datang rumah.. now aku cakap pulak pasal RE. but seriously, try tanya azan kalau dia ada kenal dgn org nama Iza.. konsperm dia cakap dia tau.. coz aku la yg tolong dia utk dapat kan no. singapore dia.. aku la yg bersusah payah beli kan dia prepaid sbb dia nak.. aku la org yg dia cari waktu dia nak gi toilet *oops* hehe.. alah.. dah lama la tu.. nak masuk 2 tahun pun..

meh, kita tatap gambar2 aku & mereka..

aku bersama Zain.. tangan belakang tu Amer nye.. catch him act in Castello ok?

okay, ni dgn mamat hensem satu ni.. Amer Munawer..

dgn pria pujangga - cat .. manja nye.. isy, ni sebelum matair dgn hamza..

gambar kenangan.. Iza & Azan Addin..

i meet up with them kat beach road.. ya, went shopping with them.. best gak ah.. surely had fun that time.. jadi popular sekejap. ye la, tau2 aje la.. makcik2 kalau ada nampak org biasa dgn artis, diorg extra baik dgn kita... cit!

and last year bila aku accident, azan called up.. dia kata dia nak jumpa aku.. but sedih seh.. i cannot walk and tangan berbalut.. dia cakap
"tak pe ma, you rest okay.. tangan awak ada luka hitam tak? ada kan? itu awak jaga betul2.. letak minyak gamat. awak ada tak minyak tu? letak insya Allah baik. kesian, tangan awak yg putih tu dah ada parut.."

aku dengar, cair beb.. yg pelik nye, he called me "ma". in actual fact, dia panggil aku iza. mana datang "ma" tu? hehe..

hmm, but memory will always be memory right? now, dgn ada nye hamza to guide aku, aku dah tak ingat lagi la pasal ni sume.. dah lupa kan pun yg kita pernah rapat..

now between me & them hanya la sebagai seorg artis & peminat.. aniway, enjoy the song ya..

exam

2006-03-14T11:14:00.000+08:00

had my module 2 exam in the morning just now.. hmm, ok2 la. susah jugak. walaupun 3 questions aje and open-book, nak cari answers punye la lengit. ye la, answer application. aku lupa la kan.. but hopefully i make it through la..

ingat habis lambat la, but sekejap aje.. so apa lagi balik la.. kemas2 bilik hari ni.. dah mcm bilik pengantin dah.. haha! aku bastard. bulan 8 ni, abg aku nak tunang and they will use my room to put the barang2 hantaran. hmm.. ingat senang2 ke aku nak kasi chance? aku gi blow up gambar2 aku yg solo and bersama hamza tinggal nak frame aje.. siap kau. ini menunjukkan bahawasanya, bilik aku adalah bilik aku.. haha! mesti bingit diorg kan? pergi mampz. aku nak buat gallery dlm bilik nanti. siap dah order lampu dari bangkok. haha!

jahat nye aku.. ini la balasan nye sbb selalu compare2 aku dgn bakal tunang dia tu.. baru dia tau siapa Iza sebenarnye.. hee3.

tak la jahat sgt.. ni secara tak sengaja. aku nak revamp balik bilik ni. jadi terkene pulak dgn banda tunang ni, coincidence la kan..

baby sakit hari ni.. tu la, smlm action makan steamboat tak ingat org.. ppl dah warning benda tu pedas nak mampz, you degil, cekik jugak.. anyway, get well soon sayang.. i nak kelua dgn you... hee3.

and yessa, from monday - thursday aku course. tapi tak la best sgt.. sbb tak tau nak makan mana.. kelua duit seh.. itu yg benci. then friday dah start kerja. and next week dah jumpa budak2. tak nak la.. nak rest lagi...... aku tak de cuti tau!

tengok la muka stress sume org.. bole tengok buku tau, tetap stress.

fun day

2006-03-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

tiring but fun.. tiring but worthful. start my day with picnic with Sayang's family.. *malu seh* dgn sdra mara dia sume.. mana akak nak letak muka. but his family is very receptive. Alhamdulillah.. i enjoyed so much the breeze. i have always love chilling by the sea.. hehe..

then we continue with the dinner with MJ. fuyo! makan tak ingat org.. bill up to 200++ bayangkan tu apa yg kita makan? haha!

didn't take any pictures.. sayang seh. hmm..

aniwei right sayang.. i enjoyed ur company. feel so blessed. haha! love you..

hmmm

2006-03-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

bloghopping to one blog to the other blog.. ye la, memang aku tak ada kerja.. isy, maju budak2 skrg kan?

tak satu2. i find it interesting baca pasal diorg ni.. yg aku anggap budak lagi.. haha! jgn marah ye..akak, tak bermaksud nak menyindir.. cuma tercuit hati membaca. maksud budak tu, yg masih belum tau, perit nye kehidupan sebenar, yg belum tau apa itu maknanya back-stabbing, yg belum tau mcm mana nak cari duit.. haiz.. kesian2. lama lagi korang nak jejak ke alam tu kan??

ada tu yg belum pun 16 tahun, dah bertukar2 pasangan.. ramai nye ex korang.. haha! sbb korang dan partner belum matang la, sbb tu selalu break.. and sanggup pulak cari yg baru.. konon2 tu, yg baru ni lagi memahami.. mana la kita tau kan? kalau la aku dpt kembali ke alam yg itu, aku nak habis kan duit mak bapak aku saving lepas tu travel dgn kawan2. sbb itu yg aku buat.. pergi ke Australia, Jakarta, KL jgn cakap la, berapa banyak kali aku gi holiday situ dgn kawan2 pun tak tau. renungkan la.. memang budak2 skrg makin cantik makin hensem, bermakna makin banyak la gejala sosial pun berlaku..

apa agaknye budak2 ni buat dgn so-called partner diorg eh? dating kat library kot.. haha! aku dgn sayang yg berduit ni pun, tak tau nak gi mana kalau dating.. paling2 turun masai aje la.. enjoy! hehe....

and to tell you the truth, hitting the clubs ain't gonna make you mature. it just make you stupid. jolly well fool. dancing in the crowd with the smokey atmosphere and drinking coke that cost you a bomb. no, aku tak pernah gi.. but dengar cerita aje la.. yg minum coke, ok.. but yg minum kencing setan tu, lagi la.. not implying to nobody but just generally.

belum lepas O level, dah nak terfikir nak kahwin.. haha! kelakar2. aku waktu musim2 sekola, tak ada chance tu pun.. untung korang dpt mak bapak sporting. hehe.. tapi konfem ni pun ada matair sembunyi dari mak bapak.. haha!

okay, some ppl might argue with me that age does not matter. and the way you thinks matters most. memang la, tak nafikan.. aku kenal dgn org2 yg kenal mmg dari zaman skola sampai jugak ke jinjang pelamin.. spt, kak shay n saiful, kak mas & abg nizam, kak imah & abg yazid, kak ayu & abg hammad, kak aida & abg reza dll.. tengok ramai jugak. but not before you all rasa heart pain and rasa sengsara dulu.. betui tak?? diorg start serious pun rasa2 lepas dah lepas legal age. haha! kahwin jugak..

kalau age does not matter, kenapa waktu beli rokok, kene 18 tahun ke atas? haha!

kalau la time aku dulu, (ceh, mcm la lama nah) konfem da kene sound dgn mama, *seluar dlm mak bapak masih beli kan, ada hati nak ada matair..* haha! kekek aku ingat time tu.. betul jugak, da la mak bapak yg kasi allowance, ni nak gi kelua suka2 dgn matair pulak.. haha!

apa lagi eh, oh.. aku tengok friendster budak2 skola alsagoff. eh best eh korang skrg.. ada excursion gi mana tu, FIRE STATION.. jumpa mamat2 CD. power seh.. kita dulu excursion gi mana eh? toilet je la.. haha! tak.. siapa kata akak jeles.. :(

kalau dulu, strict nak mampz. tak leh gi tempat yg ada lelaki.. haram. nasib la baik batch aku tak ada yg jadi lesbian. haha! lagi la tunggang terbalik..

hmmmmmmmmmmm... B, adik2 sume dah nak sehidup semati, kita bila lagi? hehe.. lama la kan.. duit pun tak cukup lagi.. aku nak accomplish mission dulu baru nak kahwin.. mission apa? hanya aku dan sayang aje yg tau..

tak nafikan, mungkin ada akak2 yg senior aku yg baca blog aku kata aku pun masih budak lagi.. tak pasal! asal kan aku dah ada saving dan tak minta duit mak bapak aku kalau nak kelua pak-to. haha! nak dikirakan, electric dlm bilik aku ni pun aku yg bayar.. apa korang nak cakap?

dah la.. hehe.. kelakar2.

once again, ni general ok. bukan utk sesiapa.. aku menulis pun aku merasa..

bored

2006-03-12T07:09:00.000+08:00

didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything.. juz lazing around at home. so bored lei..
changed the song AGAIN! this will be my last song feat. Jason Mraz. and the song featured now titled "plane".

holiday kapa?

2006-03-11T13:05:00.000+08:00

e eh, holiday ke? best nye!! best ke hape? org cuti, aku skola.. dah la tu, kene kerja. haiya!

anihoos, suka la jugak sbb tak ada budak2 nak jaga.. rilek mat kojek aje.. but sekejap aje la kan.. seminggu aje. cit!

penat giler seh tadi. mcm nak mampos. 1st session, aku semangat bulu nye mengajar.. masuk 2nd session, aku da malas. tapi tetap on jaga budak and finishing up everything. masuk 3rd session, aku dah angkat bendera putih... gua dah tak leh angkat lagi beb. aku sampai terbaring giler babi nye kat cozy corne rdlm class. haha! sedap lagi dgn air-con. kalau la bilik aku mcm klas aku, tak ada la aku nak merayap selalu..

wah! dis sunday ada makan2 dgn MJ la. lama seh tak makan sesama. occasion nye ialah, ANNIVERSARY MarJuana!! best kan? so kita sume sambut sesama. katanya ada kejutan bakal berlaku.. but to tell you the truth right.. saya dah tau pun apa tu.. hehe.. hmm.. lagi monday ada exam. though open book, lengit aku nak belajar. apa lagi eh? mcm2 lagi la..

sesiapa nak belanja aku makan? haha! lapar giler ni. balik siang tapi tak ada makan. apa hal ni..

tadi kak jaja ada kasi gambar kat friendster. lama tak jumpa dia.. tup2 dah nak kahwin pun dia..

ismaliza & easmariza

nama kita bole nak seakan2 sama kan? hehe.. cuma spelling dan pronunciation aje lain.

okie, time utk gambar2 overdue..

bersama kawan2 gerek kat skola..

at Pasir Ris Park with my children.. da mcm amek gambar class pulak..

me with my ever darling.. Md Ezekiel Zaidanie.. heart him a LOT! dah besau dah dia..

me with Iman, Kikiel's best friend and my 2nd darling.. haha!
last but not least.. me with Isaac... hmmm.