Different faces of me

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

went to my workplace just now to practice on the dance steps.. hehe.. they asked me to stay at home at least for another day. yahoo!! so tomorrow, i'll still be on my mc!!

then went to liesa's house to try out the baju yg mak nye jahit. ok, it turns out nice. but a minor alteration is needed. coz before i fell sick, i was bloated. now when her mum measures my butt, it shrinks few cm. wow! an achievement. hehe.. so, ya, have to wait for the baju.

this year's tchrs day will be held on a stationary ship @ Danga Bay, Johore. it sounds grand and all the tchrs were excited about it. but what brings the mood down is that the event will start only at 8 pm. what the? 8 pm and furthermore @ johore? phew, i'm not at all excited. reason being when i'm in my homeland i can't stay out late and for this, i have to go back late.. no no, it's totally a bad idea. maybe it's only to me, cuz the others seems to be okay with it coz the next day is our off day. so? doesn't mean we should go all out partying. and tell you what? i'm not in a party mood nor do i like to party. night life is totally un-me!
so, have to think of any way to change the itineary.. but who am i afterall ya?

dearie fetched me from liesa's house & we had a slow talk about our future. i started it first.

i am happy to see my fellow MJs tying the knot of marriage, engagement and trust me, i do feel happy. but somehow i cannot deny the feeling of insecurity here..
hammad & ayu is definitely married. alia & mail will be a lawfully husband & wife next year, insya Allah. both shahrul & dee + romi & liz will tying the knot on 2008 respectively. for ammar & an, it will be unsuprising if we gonna heard if they going to settle down within this few years. well me & hamza? we still have a looooong way to go.

here is the part. i am known in the MJ as miss cinderella. coz i must be back home before the clock strikes 11. ya, an hour earlier from cinderella. and i will have to miss any event that includes staying over, overnight, going to another country for holiday and so on.. my family is very conservative about this. anything that includes guys definitely got the red light from them.

so from here, i told hamza to stay calm and don't he ever feel insecurity and feel that why the other couples can stay for a long time together and why not us. i advise him to stay focus and jgn cepat melenting kalau2 iza tak dapat spend the night together. satu, memang tak manis kalau org tengok and kita masih belum ada ikatan apa2 lagi. lagi satu faktor umur iza.. i'm still young for all this. ya, young in the eyes of my parents. so, sayang, iza harap you faham kedudukan iza..

even kalau i tak dapat sama2 dgn you, you will always have my support. i feel sad to selalu tinggal kan you kalau kita ada outing MJ. but what to do sayang.. i know you ada feel a lil bit jealousy in you to see them cuddle up together dlm kesejukan malam. i'm so sorry that you have to tahan dgn iza.. i want the best of both parties. you & my parents..

maybe after i reached 21, they could give me leniency towards all this. that is 2 years from now. but still i can't promise anything.. thankyou for your understanding sayang..

you have to put up everything about me. i have my restrictions. but if you think on the positive side, wouldn't it make our relationship lebih diberkati?

i know influence from people is greatly high out there.. peer pressure is definitely on the high end. i love you and loving you is not only physically but also from my inner self.
do you know that this heart is calling out for your name every min, every second?

do you know this heart is always longing to see your lovely face?

do you know that this heart is always caring for you no matter where you are?

do you know that this heart is always longing to be in the comfort and feel the warmth of your arms?

do you realize how deep is my love towards you?

i wouldn't want my love to turns out as lust. but have to put up with it sayang, both of us is too young to commit anything serious. and just now, you said that you are pressured by this. do not worry, i am not asking you to propose to me.. we are not ready for the big thing yet sayang..

just if anything comes along, be prepared for me of not being able to spend it with you.. if you cannot tahan with it, i am ready to make the big "sacrifice". but i do really hope that everything and our sail in this relationship will be a smooth journey towards eternity..

I LOVE YOU SAYANG!! i really do.. can anyone help to pass this message across to him and make him realize that i really love him and i can't live without him??

O ALLAH, please bless our relationship and make us strong enough to go through the obstacles in life O Almighthy.. AMIN..

sealed with a kiss
1:45 PM