Different faces of me

Friday, July 21, 2006

hello everybody!! am back from hibernating.. well, thanks for all those wishes and doas for me to keep strong.. and Alhamdulillah ppl, i think your doas been heard by Him.. i am very well happy with my life now..

no more pressures.
no more kongkong from him.
i can spend my money now..
i can catch up with my girls.
we even planning for a chalet for us.. i can't wait!
i can get to know new and interesting guys.
i'm loving my family more.. both family, home and MJ..
thanks for being by my side.. i heart all of you!!!

well, after a conversation with somebody late last week, i'm being awakened from my dreams and said hell, why should i even bother thinking of him when he still thinks of that biatch.. oops! haha! suka hati aku la kan..
my days after that never feel better. and my days are so shiny!! ALHAMDULILLAH! all praises to Him.

now i dun cry over him.. but i laugh for him. hehe.. he's deeply in love with shadows. haha! and dun think i'm going back to him, even if he begs.. for my heart have totally TAWAR for him. his love is so fake..
i know, i'm stupid then but am not now.. i dun mind all the gifts for him.. semua halal org kata.. a day after break up, i can even give him a gift.. a nike slipper whick cost me freakingly 60 bucks. i'm spending on my ex. haha! stoopidito. but neh mind, i feel satisfied.

and i love my girlfriend, AINI.. i love her sia.. she's my best friend after nadiah.. hehe.. talking about Aini, we went for a makeover together.. best seh.. we went to Bridal Couture. it is a fun experience for us.. we enjoyed each other's company..
we made the appointment at 645 pm. but our photoshoot only finishes at 11 pm.. pe lama kita posing.. hehe.. and never i feel satisfied before.. best sgt la this time. different from my previous makeover.. we're intending to makeover again at Johore.. gila eh dua2 ni..

let's see the pictures.

us before makeover..

aini after makeover.. jambu kan? mcm model..

and ya, we took with wedding gown.. best seh! ini la masa nye pakai wedding gown.. kalau kahwin betul2 tak leh..

now gambar aku plak.. jeng jeng jeng.. jgn terkejut.. haha! wedding gown seh.. best kan?? siap pegang bunga semua.. haiz.. bila la ada org yg betul sayang kan aku kan? eh, apa ni.. hidup single lagi best oh..

ada lagi gambar nye.. tunggu..
mcm diva senget tak? haha! ada lagi.. aku tgh promote ni..

among all the pictures.. i like this best! mcm ada makna seh.. there's words that can't be described thru this pic.. am i smiling for his lost? or am i smiling just to hide the sorrows.. haha! apa2 la eh...

haiz.. can't wait to go out again with my darlings..

will update again later when i feel like it.. BYE!!!!

today is the 21st.. and ya, suppose it's our 23rd month-aversary.. but hell, i dun think he even remember.. shoots. to think that next month is our 2 years.. blueks!

sealed with a kiss
9:24 PM

Monday, July 10, 2006

i'm trying to move on.. i dunno till when.. but i'm crying every night, every where.. i need to be strong but i know, it's hard.. i need ppl to stand by me..

walau pun aku happy2 berbual, but when i'm alone.. automatic nangis... so aku takut sendiri, aku takut malam, aku takut semua.. am i really ok ppl? should i go to the doc.. aku tau ni signs of depression.

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION AND MANIA
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

HOW TO HELP YOURSELF IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED

Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:
Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition change jobs, get married or divorced discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

How Family and Friends Can Help the Depressed Person

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about the use of alcoholic products while on medication. The second most important thing is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist. Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural activities, but do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.
Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that, with time and help, he or she will feel better.

that's what i'm afraid of.. takut aku ni dikata pemalas if aku tak bole buat kerja.. so family and friends.. pls help me.. i need you all by my side..

sealed with a kiss
8:43 AM

Thursday, July 06, 2006

it's official.. me & him, we're no more a couple. yes, ppl.. he dumped me.. we broken up coz of something complicated. and this is the best solution that we can find..
oh dear.. i love him still.. i miss him dearly.. i even dreamt that we will have children together.. but not anymore..

Ya Allah, tabahkan lah hati ku ini menghadapi segala cabaran yang Engkau tentukan Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya hati ku ini sungguh lembut ya Allah..

aku bole memaafkan dia.. and aku pun dah maafkan dia.. and aku harap, dia akan bahagia selepas ini.. bukan satu dua bulan kita berkasih.. bulan depan genap 2 tahun kita menjalin asmara.. tapi, jodoh kita dah tiada..

susah utk aku nak lupakan dia.. susah utk aku tak menyayangi dia.. but he made his decision.. and i respect that..

gosh, i'm missing him so much now..

will change my url later.. i can't possibly put his name now right?

sealed with a kiss
10:44 PM

Sunday, July 02, 2006

wah! lama seh tak update.. isy3.. okay la, sum up everything satu minggu yg lepas..

Friday, 23rd June 2006.

on friday, 23rd June, we had a mini celebration of our bosses' birthday at our ctr.. it's a very calm event.. celebrate pun ok2 aje.. but sibuk sgt nak amek gambar.. hehe.. biasala.. haiz.. meh la tengok gambar aje..

aku dicelah2 hadiah utk mereka, Mr Omar & Mr Ahmad..best kan? dpt perfume Hugo,,

then ada sesi potong kek. kek nye.. but aku tak dpt jamah pun la.. ntah kenapa..

my bosses, Mr Ahmad & Mr Omar.
with the Tampines Staffs.. blur eh gambar ni?

and i had my surprise too..

ini step aje.. konon amek la kan kalau2 org lupa bday aku. haha!

but... ada lagi...

they got me a gifts.. me with the superiors..

the gifts... two sets of accecories.. nice kan??

Saturday,24th June 2006

let's skip this part..

Sunday, 25th June 2006

Happy birthday to me!!

haha.. merepek.. my birthday is the same every year.. mcm repetition seh. BORING!!! as all ppl know, my quote: BIRTHDAYS SUCK BIG TIME.

but ada la jugak org buat aku happy.. my MJ family..

they bought me ice cream cake from Swensens.. thanks so much!! but sad, aku dpt rasa sikit aje.. coz was RUSHING for something that spoilt my mood. hmph!

me with the cake..

k la.. itu aje.. utk minggu lepas..

minggu ni, da start kerja as normal.. malas nak ckap.. badan penat nak mampz. so tak yah bilang pape..

and today, i go shopping ALONE!! w/o anybody accompanying me.. so sad.. went to Orchard Road somemore.. org jalan couple2.. pakai baju sama2 bikin aku JELES! but nevermind..

i spent lavishly on something.. usually my Body Splash will not cost me more than 10 bucks. but today, i spent on a Body Splash for a freakingly $73. mampos! body splash apa seh? but i'm contented with it. it satisfies me alot!!

this is the Body Splash..$73 for two.. coz i gelojoh.. this thing i search for nearly 5 months. and bila jumpa, kesukaan.. buy two coz takut habis stock. as two months lagi baru benda ni dtg dari US.. so barang Import.. mana tak mahal kan.. it's from Victoria Secret by the way.. hmmm..

okie.. that's all.. haha.. ending boring seh.

enjoy ur weekend everyone!!

sealed with a kiss
10:40 AM