Different faces of me

Sunday, August 14, 2005

hey ya people.. back again.. feeling shitty this few days. probs here & there.. top on the list RELATIONSHIP!! yeah, my relationship is like a roller coaster nowadays. haiz.. feel so down the longkang sey..

i dun really have much choice when comes in relationship... bole kira dgn jari seh.. let me recap the guys that have been in my life b4..

my first crush... "A"..

far way back when i was in P5.. bebudak lagi.. in Alsagoff.. had this huge crush on this "A" from the neighbouring madrasah. tau2 je la kan.. this "a" is from a well-to-do family.. tinggal kat condo.. al-faham, org kaya la kan.. pandai pulak tu.. had this crush for 4 bloody years. when in sec 2, terserempak kat camp anjuran salah sebuah masjid, he asked 4 my no.. alamak eh, gamat kejap.. best giler. tapi aku nye "pandai", dah dapat no., aku tak nak contact dia.. sbb malu. lagipun, mak bapak aku tak encourage sgt benda2 gini.. furthermore, dia dah ada gf kau. dah terbengkalai gitu aje.. boring seh.. 4 tahun aku tunggu tau!! haiya.. dah habis riwayat.. dengar2 dia dah kahwin..

lepas tu, ada jugak la mamat2 yg nak kenal2 dgn aku.. but i tolak dgn baik.. coz, sedar diri ini, tak cantik.. then takut diri ini dipermainkan.. and think that i still have the crush to "a" that time...

my 2nd.. "Z"

this guy tersalah msg org, dari situ kita berkenalan.. think when i'm in sec 3. he's from ite yishun.. fuh, jauh nye.. but living in eunos. he shared a lot of prob with me, and we kinda close. sampai satu period, he pindah.. then we lost contact. suddenly, he call balik.. wow!! happy sekali.. start balik call malam2.. haha. pagi2 i will be his alarm clock. kejut kan dia bangun.. alala, konon manja la tak leh bangun sendiri.. dia amek license motor, he promised that i will be his 1st pillion. but hajat tu tak kesampaian, hampir satu tahun kita "sama2", i dun noe what's my feeling that time though he dah develop something special towards me.. but kita tak continue 2gether atas halangan mak bapak ku. hehe.. it's ok.

last nampak dia kat bazaar geylang last year. right infront of me & hamza..

during this time pun ada la kengkawan nye matair nak berkawan dgn aku, gitu aku suka. pasal bole berbual relax.. kira members ah dgn aku..

antaranye: "F", "H" & "R". ini 3 kawan, gerek giler..

"F".. ( is this my 3rd? )

my kawan, my bro and my tempat mengadu.. he's from ite tamp. shared lotsa things 2gether. makan minum bersama. selalu kongsi masalah pasal matair.. kesian aku tengok.. best berbual dgn dia.. sbb sanggup dia call aku pakai hp dia.. semata2 nak dengar suara aku.. kelakar la kau ni.. hmm, from sec 3 to last year kita rapat as kawan. terus aku cakap dgn dia..

"f", kau tau aku pernah cakap kat kau yg sekiranya aku ada matair, aku tak nak ada kawan lelaki lain kan.. sbb aku tak nak matair aku fikir buruk kalau kita kawan. kau dgn aku rapat, aku tak nak sekali2 lukakan hati matair aku, walaupun aku baru dgn dia.. (that time baru seminggu matair dgn hamza ) tapi aku nak cuba jadi matair setia.. thanks bro sbb selalu bersama aku all this while.. tak kan aku lupa jasa baik kau terhadap aku.. bye..

gitu la berakhir nya sebuah persahabatan yg sejati.. hmm.. sedih seh. dia pun ada lesen motor, jugak janji yg aku will be the 1st pillion, tapi hajat dia tak kesampaian sbb aku dah jumpa hamza.. thanks once again bro! last nampak dia kat mc tamp last month.

"R" ( is this my 4th )

ex kawan aku, minta aku tolong dlm relationship dia jugak. haiz, counsellor rupa nye dulu.. hencem mamat ni.. hehe. he's from ite then in police force. that time aku kat maarif repeat sec 4. he called and we talked a lot. he ni pandai buat kelakar.. romantis pun ada.. terpaut kejap. haha!! pernah sekali 2 kelua jalan dgn dia.. quite fun. paling tak leh lupa, when he bersungguh2 nak datang rumah aku dgn "H". tapi everytime kene reject aje sbb aku kerja.. kesian kau. haha!! like everyday we talked on the phone. i will always be his companion kalau dia nak gi kerja.. will only put down the phone kalau tau yg dia dah selamat dlm kerja.. we end the friendship in a wink.. tak tau bila.

dah ada matair dah.. bagusla.. harap2 berkekalan ok.

my 3rd... ( or is this my 5th )

known this shit when i'm in sec 4, maarif. during that time we went to kl to watch APM.. a good-looking guy, model. 1 whole damn year stuck with him.. and i say, this guy suck!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!! permainkan hati aku!! HATI AKU KAU DAH LUKAKAN, DUIT AKU DAH KIKIS.. JANTAN SIAL!! MUKA HENSEM HATI BUSUK! KAUDU, BINATANG!! I HATE YOU!! MATI LA KAU!! AKU TAK NAK CERITA PASAL KAU!! CUMA AKU TAU KAU GAY!! CELAKA..
tak ke menggeramkan, dah la dia buat aku suka kan dia, end up tau dia gay!! sialan!!

my 4th.. "A" again.. ( or is this my 6th )

dikenalkan dari tchr aini, tahun lepas.. sekolah tak tau.. cuma aku tau dia engineer. wow!! muka ala2 Marcell. berbual melalui sms aje.. a very hardworking guy.. selalu complain pasal kerja dia. and i made him quit. hehe.. he dapat kerja kat tamp. he said, he tukar kerja just to be near me.. jadi bole jumpa utk lunch. bull shit je.. aku dah tak contact sejak ada hamza. then pass this guy to my best fren, Nadiah..

my 5th.. HAMZA.. ( or is this my 7th definitely my LAST!! )

last year during Arab Festival @ Arab st. had this belly dancing night. so decided with Nadiah to go and check it out. at the same time, mana tau dapat mamat arab pulak. that time, actually aku tak suka sekali dgn org arab. haha! dari zaman skola seh. Nadiah selalu pesan kat aku, jgn benci sgt nanti dapat kau org arab.. i just can laugh right now..

excuse me, kawan aku kat sana nak kenal2 dgn kau.. kau sudi ke?
siapa? yg mana?
meh la sini..
hi!! ( muka mcm "R" la, hensem )
hi.. i nak kenal2 bole?
bole jugak.
nama siapa?
iza.. you?
hamza..
ohh.. ( bole sama plak ending dia.. cute la dia ni )
kata nak kenal2, no. you apa?
kejap la, tgh gabra ni..
i'm in a hurry actually, mak dah call suro balik.. :)
( terjadilah per-exchange an no.)
i balik dulu la ye.. kalau sudi, call nanti
i'll call you 2nite.. bye..
bye.. NADIAH!! balik meh..

haha, dari situ kita berkawan.. selalu call lepas kul 2 pagi.. alamak eh, mamat ni, tak tau tido ke? rupa nye baru balik kerja.. kerja pizza hut. oh, bawak motor.. motor lagi.. find it irony, i dun like to ride bike, tapi kawan ramai yg bermotor..

nama penuh you apa?
Syed Hamza
you ni arab? ( dlm hati, padan muka aku )

haha, dia ni pun datang kat aku utk kongsi masalah jugak.. pasal perempuan. ya Allah, ramai sungguh. senang jatuh cinta kot. selalu stress kalau perempuan lukakan hati dia.. he decided to break our friendshiop.. Tuhan aje tau aku nye hati mcm mana that time.. dengar kan cerita dia, aku yg risau. sampai la aku dah jatuh hati kat dia.. waktu tu jugak dia tinggalkan aku. :( sampai hati you.. aku sampai sakit seminggu pasal dia.. but aku rasa that time, i need to move on.. mungkin dia dah bahagia dgn perempuan yg dia pilih..

berkenalan pulak dgn anggota Ruffedge, Azan Addin. exchanged no. some sort like scandal gitu.. he's soo romantic. will definitely call me up whenver he's here.. naughty tapi.. but he also dah tak contact dgn aku..

satu hari pukul dua pagi..

i dun wanna noe.. ( hp berbunyi ) walaupun dia dah tak contact, tiap kul 2 pagi mesti aku menunggu panggilan telefon dia.. tak kisah kalau besok pagi kerja ke tidak.. nak kene bangun kul 6 pagi tiap2 hari.
hello..
hi iza,masih kenal tak?
of course i do, Syed Hamza.. i ni bukan nye type yg lupa kawan.. how are you?
getting better.. how are you these days?
doing fine..
you miss me? (dlm hati, kau tak tau yg aku sakit pasal kau 1 week)
tak ah, nak rindu you buat apa, bukan nye dapat benefit.. ( rasakan )

hehe.. gitu la aku dgn hamza berkawan balik.. ingat senang ke nak dapat dia? susah tau.. dah gitu sampai la matair ni.. nak dekat setahun.. insya Allah berkekalan..
SAYANG!! IZA SAYANGKAN ABANG!!!
itu sahaja. gaduh tu biasa kan dlm perhubungan.. tapi tak mau la cepat2 merajuk k sayang... love you!!

sealed with a kiss
2:10 PM