Monday, September 19, 2005 today is exactly 12 years since my adik tinggalkan me.. i'm so sad. coz that adik is the one i'm waiting for. i picked the name, i shopped for his thing. i really looked forward for him. mama knows it too. but she hid it from me that adik might have complications after his birth. mama asked me to hold and kiss him for how long i wanted. and i did. but because that time i am still young, the nurse discourage me from holding him for too long. his smell & scent really touched my heart. and the nurse took him away from me. upon seeing that mama cried coz she knew i will not be able to see him again. thank goodness, i kept his face saved in my mind forever...
that night, i fell terribly sick. people were worried sick for me. i refuse to eat, all i did was thinking of my adik though i'm down with a very high fever. then came the phone call.. it's from abang. mak picked up the phone and said; Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. upon hearing that, i asked, who passed away. they declined to tell me so. nenek hugged me tightly and said that adik had passed away. i cried hysterically. i cannot accept the fact that he's gone. during that time, i am willing to exchange places with him. let him live, and let me be in his place. but no, that would not happen. people are also sad.. coz they know, that is my adik.. not easmael's adik, but easmariza's lil bro. EasmaDzulfiqar.. such a beautiful name.
cancelled my meeting with dearie. spent my evening on the sejadah to read for adik yaasin.. semoga roh adik dicucuri rahmat..
sealed with a kiss
12:40 PM
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name: Easmariza
DoB: 25th June (remember it ya)
email: rascalatwork@hotmail.com (msn)
easmariza@gmail.com
