Different faces of me

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i am obsessed with something new.. haha! no more bags, no more shoes.. but now, handphone!! haha!! yesterday, i changed to a new hp again, just after 3 months. hehe.. buang duit seh..

i am always on the lookout for newest gadget.. mesti nak dpt kan.. kalau tak dpt, cium bau pun jadi la.. si dia kata, aku tukar hp mcm tukar baju.. at least, aku tak la nak sibuk TUKAR2 pasangan..

up to date, this is my..... um, ntah yg ke berapa la..
ok, let me recap about my exes(hp).
first sekali waktu zaman jepun, my hp was Nokia 3210. ingat lagi tak barang kuno tu? haha! ya. kira hebat la dulu tu..
then i changed to Nokia 8310. melonjak naik terus.. hehe.. hebat la dah ada radio konon nye..
then, tukar, Sony Ericsson yg tak bagus. huhu. tak tau apa model.. pakai sekejap aje.
then tukar Samsung ntah apa model lagi.. hp jumpa.. during that time kira best la ada hp camera bole flip 180 degrees. merepek seh.
then tukar hp, Nokia 3200. kira that time dah ada camera phone la.. wah!! canggih seh.
then hp tu masuk dlm laut, rosak.. kene la beli baru.. itu la Nokia 7260 pun datang menjelma..
aku la antara org yg pertama menggunakan hp designer tau. hehe.. tamak! lepas tu dah naik jelak.. minta hamza beli kan hp baru..
dtg la Nokia 3230 3 bulan lepas..
and now, presenting my newest hubby...

yes, Nokia 6280.

haiz, i am contented.. hehe. now, i have a 3G phone that completes with all the functions. although that my choice is actually N70, but the latter dun have infrared.. itu tak best tu.. infrared pun penting tau. so this phone complete semua.. hope i can stay true to this phone for a long time.. tak nak la tukar2 lagi..

tapi, kalau N80 sale, aku nak beli jugak!! kalau trade dgn hp ni, harga N80 baru 200 lebih.. haha! maybe birthday present ke nanti?? banyak la kau.

sealed with a kiss
11:08 AM

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

pictures only..

during nikah..

malam nye..

besok nye

see how close we are..

Allah, abg hammad ni..

ni pulak riduan romi.. nak jadi romeo la tu..

my actual feeling that day..

that's it lor..

sealed with a kiss
11:26 AM

Monday, May 29, 2006

it has been a long time since i last time blogged. many things happened in this week. and it hurts me so much.. but i would just blog about the happy things ya.
last weekend, our sister and brother, ALIA DELENA & MD ISMAIL dah sah jadi suami isteri.. congrats..
kak alia looks so pretty. and abg mail looks so macho.. haha! and being macho himself, he lafaz kan akad nikah once aje seh.. POWER!! haha! and during this two days, banyak yg terjadi.. and i forced myself to smile at every shots. i dun want to ruin my sis' wedding..
and now, i am lost for words.. i dunno what to do now.. IT HURTS!!!!
for now, let's look at the pix ya..

us waktu nikah.. see how far WE stand? majlis berinai.. haha! tradisional seh..
waktu sanding.. with my MJ family.. once an MJ, always an MJ. even if something happens, i will still stick with my bros & sis.
with two of the Ruff Ryders who escorted with us.notice the fake smile? it is just an act.

okay, that's it.. the rest, is for me to keep as memories..

sisters & brothers, thank you for your support for me and shows your concern to me. i love you all.. thanks to bro wan for hantar me balik on sat, and thanks to bro ayub for fetching me on sunday.. i also can TUKAR pasangan la.. not only you.

sealed with a kiss
11:04 PM

Monday, May 22, 2006

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car
stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I
carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years
ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had
a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the
assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got
home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her
stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, You are
the kind of man who best draws girls. Her words suddenly reminded me of
my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful,
will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant.
I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn' t help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.?
I 've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea
of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how
mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was
a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in
front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was
the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds
without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too
far awayfrom her. I couldn' t imagine how she would react once she got to
know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped
out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried
to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, Divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I
nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the
last dish, I held her hand. I 've got something to tell you, I said. She sat
down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I
didn' t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was
thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't
seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned
her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not
a man! .At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew
she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman
who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger oneday. But
I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my
clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke
up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought
up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me, but I was
supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time
we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would
finish his summer vacation a month later and she didnt want him to see our
marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Do you still
remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question
suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories tome. I nodded and
said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have
a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we
divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from
the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife s divorce
conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her
words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded,feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to
office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn' t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time.
I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her
face.On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted
her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was
holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became more
vague.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout mademe stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult
to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her
out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,
All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it
was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because
I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again,
I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touchher head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
in my arms I could hardly move astep. Our son had gone to school. She
said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life was
lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce.
I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead.
You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I
said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because
we didn t love each other any more.
Now I understand that since I carried her
into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I
am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She
gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked
me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I 'll carry you
out every morning until we are old.

from somebody's blog.. i decide to post it. it is very2 touching. and i actully cried non-stop.. if u ever wondered why suddenly ur relationship gone hay-wired, think of the VALUE.. *still crying*

HAPPY 21st BABY!! LOVE YOU LOADS!!

sealed with a kiss
1:05 PM

Friday, May 19, 2006

wah!! busy2 days lately.. chn having their assessments. marking their papers. doing their progress reports. decorating the classroom. haiz, i love this period of time. the stress can actually bond us colleagues at work.
1st lemme check what i need to do and done this week.

Chn assessments - CHECKED!
marking their papers - CHECKED!
filling up their progress report books - CHECKED!
awards - CHECKED!
progress reports - CHECKED!
SLC craft- CHECKED!
Task cards - CHECKED!
decorating the classroom - halfway done
idea web - Pending ( oh..oh.. )
AOM - need to check.

this time round, banyak jugak yg aku selesaikan cepat. ALHAMDULILLAH.. sampai kekadang tu mcm tak ada apa nak buat lagi.. haha! seram ni bila meet-parent-session. but best sekali.. last 2 years, kita stay kat kerja sampai kul 10 lebih.. best seh.. masing2 da kene marah dgn mak masing2. aku da kene marah dgn hamza.. hehe.. ingat2 balik, cute sekali.. tak sangka, we mature inside this company. now, everything knows what to do fast. no more last min work..

and today, everybody is being extra sweet to me.. thanks everybody!! and i do mean, everybody.. even strangers.
this week, i feel like i'm somewhat some celebrity. hehe.. perasaan sia! well, eversince that i lost weight lately, (walaupun tak banyak) i've been given special "treatment". ok, pandangan lelaki jgn kata la.. ok, dun puke k. coz, i dun like the fact ppl watching me.. it is so uncomfortable down the neck. somehow, i feel jijik with the looks. (though happy jugak) but i came to realise, ppl do bias at a lot of things.
kenapa barang yg cantik aje di pandang..
yg indah dipandang, yg indah diperhati..
yg tidak terpampang, itu tak dipeduli..
when i am plump, ppl dun bother to give way to me.. will serve me badly. will honk at me when i crossed the road lambat.. and so on.. they dun even will have a second look at me.
but now, ppl actually giving me way, sengaja pulak nak jalan belakang aku.. asal? kalau serve makanan, senyum mcm nak tercabut gigi, sampai tumpah2 kan air, sanggup lap kan pulak.. (ok, mungkin perasan sendiri, that's how they suppose to work mah) kalau kat traffic light tu, dah green light pun tak nak jalan, masih tengok kan.. ku korek bijik mata baru tau. y can't you guys treat all the girls the same? tak kisah la, gemuk ke, kurus ke, cantik ke, buruk ke.. mereka tetap manusia pe.. but Alhamdulillah.. at least i feel good now. cuma, tolong la, jgn la tengok gitu lagi..

well, today, did something terribly nice!!!!! i feel proud of myself..
on the way back with tchr halimah, we boarded the same bus no. 18. kat dlm ada budak nangis.. kesian aku tengok.. still in school uniform lagi.. so i ask la, y you cry dik? dia tak nak jawab, makin kuat nangis nye.. da aku malu, then, dgn perasaan kasih & sayang, aku duduk dekat dgn budak tu, and pegang tangan dia..baru dia nak berbual.. maka nye, budak ni, tertido dlm bas..naik dr bedok.terlajak sampai tampines interchange. then dia naik lagi.. dia takut balik mlm.. da kul 8 dah.. so he keep crying.. kesian aku tengok.. aku tanya la, tinggal mana, bedok reservoir view aje. alah, kampung hamza la kan.. haha! darjah berapa? primary 3. sama dgn adik aku.. kalau la adik aku tu, mmg aku yg nangis dulu.. so i can somewhat rasa apa yg mak dia rasa.. so aku ckap la,tak pe, kakak hantar balik sampai rumah.. baru dia ok. bila kita turun tu, aku hantar la, then nampak ada seorg makcik ni, terkial2 cari org.. that's his mum.. and when mak and anak bertemu, the smiles on their face make me so happy! i actually bring them together again.. seriously, i will be too terrified if my adik tak balik2 jugak.. naluri wanita la eh..
so, i go back, feeling so great of myself.. haha! told hamza about it, and he said that he's proud of me.. awww.. so sweet. kalau aku meninggal ni, senyum seh.

and coz of that, aku tak gi repair hp. oh ya, did i tell u? my hp da condemn! the 3230, da condemn maut nye.. sedih seh.. makanye tu hadiah dr dia, hopefully bole la baik balik. nak gi service besok.. anybody nak ikut?? haha!

wah!! panjang kan aku tulis.. tak pe la kan...
BYE!!!!

sealed with a kiss
1:05 PM

Monday, May 15, 2006

after days of crying my heart out...
i've found someone who makes me all smiles again..
one who makes me dream of him..
one who makes me drool for him..
shall keep it secret for a while before i disclose this person..

i adore you~~we shall meet again end of this month ya? a movie treat maybe?

SHOUTOUTS to all MUMMY especially my lovely mama.. i love you too..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

sealed with a kiss
6:41 AM

Sunday, May 14, 2006

had my assignment on Art&Craft just now. when we supposed to do 10 masterpieces, i did only 6. haha! otak cramp everytime art&craft. since kindergarten i hate that subject. maths too. but nevermind..

went to his house just now, to give his mum her present. w/o him knowing. and when i came, he's not home. how cool is that? glad that he's mum liked the gift. hehe. thanks.. although it's just a short visit, but berdebar nye, Ya Allah, Dia aje yg tahu. when i asked where is he auntie? he's mum asked me back, "gaduh ke korang?" oops, i dun have the answer for that.

salam everybody and off i go with this heartpain. suddenly i saw somebody familiar.. kak ayu la! she ajak gi jalan cari baju kat geylang with kak an.. aku yg tak ada plan ni pun, ikut la.. bermula la our hunt.

so turun geylang and 1st stop, Muzika.. junior hammad and ayu nak tengok vcd.. haha! then gi kedai jamu.. ammar nak jamu pulak.. haha. in the shop, i & kak ayu jatuh cinta dgn splash cologne ni.. sweet giler bau.. murah pulak tu, $2.50. haha! menggila kita..

then, gi makan kat banquet. lepas tu, kita gi Nora Apparel. kak ayu terpikat dgn baju kat sana. so she bought one. best seh! sweet giler baju tu. and the cutting hides her bulging tummy. dah tak nampak mcm pregnant.
lepas tu, aku ajak diorg gi Yasmin. haha! smlm aku dah belanja, niari, kak ayu pulak. dia jatuh cinta dgn baju2 kat sana.. haha! and she ada la beli 2 pasang. cantik!!!!!! geram aku.. pak kal dah tak ade duit, if not, sure aku grab one more.

maybe baju yg dia beli kat Yasmin, she will wear it for sis aliyah nye wedding. so, aku and kak ayu will wear the baju from the same boutique. haha! jadi ambassador ok?

then, talk2 with them. cute la.. i mean, the last time i kelua dgn sis2 MJ, malam puasa pertama when we all have dinner together kat Seoul Garden. yg lain, kumpul ramai2. this time, kelua lagi gini.. Sisters, we should go out again someday.. bila agak2? haha!

lepas kak ayu and abg mad, kak aliyah & abg mail pulak.. lepas ni abg wan & kak liz pulak.. lepas tu, kak dee & abg shahrul pulak.. lepas tu, abg am & kak an pulak.. eh, bila time aku??? haha! gatal pulak si kecik ni..

haiz, best ah.. but when da balik, boring menyelubungi diri balik.. cannot take it la..

sealed with a kiss
1:51 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Terhiris perasaan takku hiraukan
Kusudah melupakan salahmu sayang
Semenjak kau tinggalkan aku keseorangan
Semakin bertambah kegundahan...

Benarkah keriangan terbias hilang
Di kala rindumu menjelma
Adakah kau sama rasakan peritnya
Sedang kita seharusnya bahagia... berdua

Langit yang berbintang sendiri aku pandangi
Jika dulu engkau di sisi menemani
Kehangatan cinta saat itu
Terbiar layu... tanpamu di sisiku... aku sunyi

Sayang kuharap kau akan pulang
Dan meneduhkan rindu hatiku
Moga cinta kita bisa dikekalkan
Dalam erti cinta sebenarnya

Aku damba kejujuranmu
Untuk kulayarkan kasihku
Kerana ku mahu kau menjadi milikku

Aku mohon kesetiaanmu
Untuk ku mengecapi rindu
Biarlah kau terus menyemai kasihmu

geddit darling?? i'm here still waiting for you..

sealed with a kiss
12:29 PM

aiyo.. emotional ku dtg balik.. :(
//dun mind my crappiness kays//
feeling lonely seh hari ni.. i do have my family's company.. but i need HIM. i DESERVE HIM.. but apa dia bikin? bosan la gini kan..

watched dvd, cooked, munched, but do i get him? nak dia la.. *sob*

haiz...

when duduk dlm bilik sendirian, kept thinking of the ups & downs of our relationship. all the happy times we shared. all the crappiness. how he made me all teary both sad & happy. remembered the times when we had org ketiga, keempat dlm relationship ni.. haha! mcm abby abadi pulak. like i can still stay by him after all the shit. kuat jugak aku ni.

i still remembered he told me all about his past. haha! who's the 1st girl he had a crush on. who is the 2nd one. who he goes on his 1st date.. he has been honest with me. that's what makes me love him. sometimes i envy the girls from his past. they got to get his full attention. me? kekadang aje tau. but still, our love is strong.

and i kinda get so upset when i know that there's ppl who is wishing to see us break up. like i dun deserve him at all. why eh? as much as i want peace on this world, as much as i want to see ppl happy, i also want ppl to wish me happiness with him. not ruining us.

ye la, i'm no beauty.. he's ok la. *ehem, hensem la jugak kan* ppl terpikat jugak kat dia.. Aida, nak senyum kat dia lagi?? hehe.. jadi konon aku tak berhak la dpt dia.. asal? org tak cantik tak leh bahagia ke? bingit seh fikir balik..

but why must i be bingit eh? haha! dah tentu dia milikku..ewah! *iye ke?* nak minta satu aje la.. siapa2 ada niat nak pisahkan kita, lupakan la.. pls, doakan yg terbaik utk kita ok?

chill eh kawan2.

sealed with a kiss
11:45 AM

hello hello.. hehe.. just came back shopping with my mum.. hehe. early in the morning we went to Hjh Maimunah to have our breakfast.. the whole family u know.. such a bonding session. love my family to bits. then i wanted to buy for myself baju for kak Aliyah's wedding. so off we go to TKC.

straight away we went to Yasmin. the baju2 i tell u ah, so damn nice sia. simple yet soooooooooo elegant. pening kepala masuk sana. pilih nye pilih nye pilih.

at last i settled for a blouse, very simple, very pink and was so me! haha! siap tempah you. so kak aliyah, see, i tempah baju specially for ur occasion ok. then paid mama's baju also. deposit aje la kan. hehe.. so ckap yg itu mother's day present dia.. haha! then bought 2 tudung. 1 for me and 1 for his mum. so in total today, i spent : $180. yahoo! duit terbang.. haha! but worth every single cents.

mama then bought for herself a pearl set (necklace & bracelet) and that costs her $180 also. haha! Yasmin boutique kaya dgn duit kita.. hee~

sealed with a kiss
5:48 AM

Friday, May 12, 2006

just came back from my meeting at HQ. haiyo.. penat seh kaki..
1st, wanna wish Mdm Sharifah Salmah a very happy birthday! semoga Allah memberkati hidup makcik..
Mdm Sh. Salmah is my Mr Syed Hamza's ummi. hehe..

2nd, i dunno what's gotten into me. (pardon if it's a lil bit harsh) i boarded bus service number 2 from Eunos. it's a straight bus to my house but kaki gatal sgt turun interchange. and i regret it like so so much!

reason being, i bumped into HER!
she who wrecked my relationship.
she who ruined my plan for my 1st anniversary.
she who is just plain JEALOUS of me..

i know, it's the past and i should just let it go.. but what's make me angry is that, when she saw me, she turned her back sia.. apa maksud seh!!!!!! like what? kau ingat aku nak tengok muka kau ke apa? pi jalan ah!!!
kira kau jambu, aku takut ah??????? alah.. taik hidung masin aje la kau tu..

and suddenly the anger abrupts back seh.. felt the pain again in my heart. how she nearly make us break up.. what makes matter worse, on my ANNIVERSARY!!! hak puih ah!

and what? u gonna tell him like what? i stare at you? i make face at you? i TURNED MY BACK AT YOU? bole belah la kau!

just one thing la kan, dun make me see ur face again k.. sekali tangan satu aku kasi.

Astaghfirullah.. i am so sorry.. but i simply cannot see her la.. sakit hati.. anyway, chill iza..

breathe in, breathe out..

sealed with a kiss
10:57 AM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Alhamdulillah.. am feeling much more relieved bout my life now.. and saw the changes in my blog? happy seh.. the mp3 player is so good ya. so enjoy the songs while browsing my page. can skip2 lagu tau.. hehe.. and dunno la kalau u all notice, kat "Extras" ada game for you to play.. hehe. kira blog aku ni interactive la kan.. haha! concept kerja.. mesti Interactive!!

all the songs played is my fav songs currently.

1. Life in Mono - Mono
2.Soledad - Westlife
3.Sebenarnya kata pujangga - Iklim
4.Cinta Duyung Nelayan - Dikir Barat
5.Kau akan pulang - Exists.

okie, work.. ok2 lor.. busy sikit as the chn are having their assesments. cute kan? k1 kene exam.. haha! kesian diorg sume..

and the hype of the kidz fiesta. i am greatful with my bunch of colleagues who's giving me support for the Fiesta. jgn hangat2 taik ayam eh.. kot nanti bila da time nye korang sume malas.. aku tempeleng sorang satu..

hee~ ok la.. nak tido skrg bole tak? haha! ngantuk la kan..

sealed with a kiss
8:32 AM

Monday, May 08, 2006

woke up just now feel like i'm having a bad nightmare.
feeling so lost and confused on what's happening.
is it true what is being said?
is it true that we are through?
all the conversation we had kept playing in my mind..

i dun wanna face it. i know i can't. where will i get the courage from?

feeling so lonely without anyone here with me.
can anybody just shoot me dead? please pretty please..

sealed with a kiss
4:32 AM

Sunday, May 07, 2006

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind

If only you could heal my heart just one more time

Even when I close my eyes

There's an image of your face

And once again I come to realise

You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad

It's a keeping for the lonely

Why did you leave me

Soledad

In my heart you were the only

And your memory lives on

Why did you leave me

Soledad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free

Can't believe just what an empty place

It has come to be

I would give my life away

If it could only be the same

Cause I can't still the voice inside of me

That is calling out your name

Time will never change the things you told me

After all we're meant to be

love will bring us back to you and me

If only you could see

sealed with a kiss
11:55 AM

gosh! i can't believe that what is being sung actually happens exactly to me...........

sealed with a kiss
11:54 AM

Saturday, May 06, 2006

feeling damn slack today.. haiya. asal pun tak tau la.. kalau aku yg balik siang da penat, hamza yg kerja hampir 24 jam tiap hari mcm mana pulak eh?

tak sampai hati seh tengok dia tungkus lumus gitu. well, ada la cerita nye. tahan k sayang??

another thing that saddens me is that, i did not get to meet him that often now. dun get me wrong.. not being mushy or what. but kalau dia tinggal jauh, lain kisah tau. ni kita tinggal dekat seh. these 2 days, aku asyik nampak dia kat atas motor aje.. setakat NAMPAK tau.. he did not even notice me.. jadi aku ni dah mcm org tak tentu arah dlm bas kalau nampak kelibat dia.. touching kan? hehe.. apa seh.

dia busy kerja, and i try to understand his stand.. ok la, at least syukur dpt jugak nampak dia kan??? hehe..

2moro no school. yeeha! seronok.. bole bangun lambat kot.. alah, aku nye lambat, setakat kul 8 aje.. huhu..

nak jumpa sayang kuz.... please... nak beli kan mama nye mother's day present...

sealed with a kiss
1:00 PM

Friday, May 05, 2006

in yesterday's post, i wrote that i'm goin to do my LP right? well, didn't do any.. typical EASMARIZA.. maleih la..
and received the good news, tomorrow mdm shah will be on leave and that's mean? I WILL BE HAVING NO LESSON OBSERVATION!! yahoo!!

and heard some rumours that the management will be giving out money early this month 4 the preparation 4 Bangkok.. but still, i need lots of it.. hehe.. can, be generous to us ya?

sealed with a kiss
9:46 AM

Thursday, May 04, 2006

geez, missing him like again.. haha! well, bila ni nak dpt duit?? wait a min, i dpt gaji last week, this week mana??? haha! boros seh..

next month nak gi bangkok mcm mana?? duit tak banyak.. duit savings dah pakai.. haiz.. boring ni.. korek rahsia dari huda tadi..

what we will do there??

9th June - depart from Singapore to Bangkok. might reach there at 2 pm. then apa tau? Free & Easy.. best!!

10th June - Sight-seeing. Free & Easy. night bazaar & night safari..

11th June - morning:brainstorming.. afternoon: free & easy.. night:gala dinner. after that? Free & easy.

12th June - morning & afternoon: free & easy and depart from bangkok for singapore..

u see the itinery? lots of free & easy.. meaning? lots of shopping!!!!!!!!!! yahoo!!!!!! but money???? mama, if u're reading this, jgn lupa janji mama nak kasi iza duit k? nak minta ayah jugak.. almaklum, gaji iza tak seberapa...

haiz, da fikir2.. from singapore tak mau bawak baju banyak2. nak beli aje kat sana. then 4 my gala dinner.. mcm mana eh? satu aje siapa bole tolong.. mana nak dpt topi mcm si taufik batisah selalu pakai? kalau tau, tag me kay? won't disclose 1st what i'll be wearing just that our theme is - Floral Paradise.. *huhu*

okay la, wanna do my LO lesson plan.. haiz, penat la..

nak tengok something?

baby, i miss you...

sealed with a kiss
8:06 AM

Monday, May 01, 2006

i have stop dreaming of a brighter future..
i have stop making promises..
i have stop trusting myself..

for everything that we do, will never ever gonna be on our way..

for dreams will be shattered..
for promises will be broken..
for trust will be betrayed..

but despite all that, i am sure HE has a better ways prepared for us.
and i know, it is for our own benefits..
but i dun have the courage to face it..

Allah, i really need ur guidance in these..
i really hope that we will be strong enuff to face all the obstacles prepared for us..

Baby, you know that i will always be with you..

sealed with a kiss
2:42 PM